The Truth Behind The Title

Alyona and I just returned from bringing Zoya to her next host family.  What should have been a 30 minute drive to our meeting spot, turned into 70 minutes, thanks to an overturned tractor trailer across the the highway.

It gave me a lot of time to just think (A fell asleep about 5 minutes into the drive), and I started reflecting on the name of the blog: "There's a U and an I in Ukraine."  When it popped into my mind several weeks ago, I loved it, but only because I found it rather clever and humorous.  

I didn't know at the time just how completely true those words would ring.  WE COULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT SUPPORT.  There is no doubt in our minds of that fact.  

Let's talk numbers:  Getting Alyona from the orphanage to our living room for a 19 day American experience, cost $2,716.  We are feeding an extra person and buying foods that we would not normally buy (like bologna.  ew.)   There was an extra person to buy Christmas presents for.  She needed clothes.  She needed shoes.  She needed toiletries.  Obviously, we want the Ukrainian orphans to have some awesome and memorable experiences.  Newsflash:  most of those "experiences" cost money.  Even the "free" museum in DC ran us about 80 bucks.  Ouch.  For three days and nights, we had Zoya, which was a blessing, but an extra expense.  

When we signed on to do this, we had the "getting her here" part covered, and we were just trusting that the rest would work itself out.  Why do I act surprised when God not only provides, but provides more abundantly than we could have imagined?  Chris and I love to give, and it has been a JOY and PRIVILEGE to give over the years to couples involved in orphan care.  Well, this time we were on the receiving end, and it was so humbling and faith building.

Malachi 3:10

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. "Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be glory...

We have felt no financial burden hosting Alyona.  We've given her memorable experiences, she has plenty of clothes and shoes and toiletries.  She has been given more Christmas gifts than we ever thought she would get (we only gave her four things, but people have been incredibly generous), the fridge and pantry are stocked with foods that she will eat. 

Each and every step of the way, God has been faithful to meet our needs, as well as hers.  When funds start getting low, someone randomly hands us a Visa gift card.  When that is spent, I check the mail and there is a Target gift card (just in time to buy shoes that she needs.)  We want to take the kids bowling on New Years Day, which is pricey for 6 people.  Today at church, someone handed us a check to cover it.  Other than used clothing donations, I have not asked for any of this.  It is God, and his perfect timing.  

Matthew 6:8

...your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

The provisions have not only been monetary.  People are praying for us.  People are encouraging my heart by telling me how much they enjoy the blog (I honestly didn't think anybody would read the thing!)

When I'm feeling discouraged, someone emails to tell me that they are thinking about us.  People at church are quick with the giant bear hugs that my weary self so desperately needs (and you probably know that Presbyterians are not the touchy feely type, by nature!)

I'm just so overwhelmed with the generosity of others, that there are tears pooling up in my eyes as I type this.  Even more encouraging, is that fact that it's not just the Scoggins family.  It is the other 3 host families, too.  My dear friends have similar stories of receiving money from TOTAL STRANGERS to help cover costs.  Being handed a gift card, just when a need arises.  It's been the most amazing thing to witness and be a part of.  

I have learned so much through this experience.  The point I want to drive home now, is that when you take a risk in the name of orphan care, it won't be easy.  In fact, it could be downright hard.  BUT, God will be in it. 

He will not leave you to splash around in the deep end- someone will throw you a life preserver every time!  Just when you are about to sink...there it is!  That bright orange donut that will pull you to the side so you can catch your breath. And because God does more than I can ask or imagine, the lifeguard will hand me a warm, fluffy towel and offer me chocolate.

Ice Ice Baby

All right stop, collaborate and listen

 

 It's been 3 days since my last post (gasp), which is an indication of how crazy things have been at the Hotel Scoggins!
Thursday, Alyona made her 3rd and final trip to the dentist.  Huge shout out to Dr. Chris Maestrello, who did x-rays, a thorough cleaning, and 8 fillings completely free of charge. It was painful for her, but she bounced back quickly. After that, I took her to Target to buy her a curling iron.  She perked right up!

We returned to find another Ukrainian had moved in.  :-)  Zoya, one of the chaperones/translators, came to spend three nights with us.  Having her has been great.  We've been able to ask Alyona questions about her past and present at the orphanage (without having to type everything and wonder if she's even understanding us), and share her translating services with other host families .  She is quite in love with Short Pump Town Center, and retail therapy is her thing!!  It has been nice for Alyona to have a buddy around, too.  I love hearing them ramble on in Russian, while I listen intently to see if I recognize any words.  "Wait, did you just offer her some tea?  I'm quite sure I heard the word 'chai'... and I know that means tea!!"

Friday morning we made yet another trip to Target (we Americans LOVE our Target!) to get Alyona some heels and nylons for the big dance (thank you, Janele!)  She felt quite special!

After that, it was time to decorate for the Mingle and Jingle Dance!  It was put on by the orphan care groups of Hope Church and West End Pres.  We went all out, hoping to create some wonderful, lasting memories for the Ukrainian kids.  I believe there were 7 host kids there, as well as MANY adopted children from all over the world.  IT. WAS. AWESOME.

The DJ was great, and I'm guessing he burned no fewer than 2,000 calories  just jammin' to his own tunes.  He also rocked a pair of angel wings, at no extra charge

.  

You're probably asking yourself, "Is that Alyona I see UP ON THE STAGE?"  Why yes, yes it is.  

She was drawing quite a bit of attention to herself, but again, we pick our battles.

She squeezed every ounce of fun out of last night that she could.  In typical teen form, she completely ignored her family.  That's ok- we just hung out with the other ignored parents.  Ha!

Getting our groove on

My sweet friend, Jennifer, came and took pictures of the evening.  It really was fantastic.

Can you tell that she was NOT interested in a family photo?  We pulled her away for a moment, and that was totes uncool of us.  Parents of teenagers: my hat is off to you.

shoes optional

Today, it was time for some Ice Ice Baby...literally.   Cole and Loren spent most of their time flat on their backs, but they refused to stop and said they loved it!  If you see them covered in bruises, please refrain from calling DSS.  They are from skating...really!!!

Reid was disappointed that he wasn't skating like Scott Hamilton after 10 minutes of practice.  That child is such a perfectionist when it comes to individual sports.

It was Alyona's first time, too, and she got the hang of it and managed to stay upright, for the most part.  She was quite concerned about her hair and was constantly trying to fix it while she skated...

I got a little nervous when I saw her grab the hand of a random teenage girl.  Oh dear.  They skated a couple of laps and then the girl left the ice.  When I saw her skating later, I went up to her and explained that Alyona is here from Ukraine and doesn't speak English, and that I was sorry if she was uncomfortable.  She was so incredibly sweet and said, "I figured it was something like that, although she did point to Loren and tell me she was her sister."

We were so impressed with her and quickly told her mom what an awesome daughter she has.
Point for the teenagers!  :-)

Seriously, how cute is she?!

After picking Zoya up from her solo shopping excursion, we went home, changed, and headed out for a Mexican dinner.  It was really fun!  We even checked out a couple of homes on the Tacky Lights Tour (which was a flop when we took Alyona one rainy night before Christmas).  This time, we were able to get out of the car and walk around, and she seemed to enjoy it.

It's hard to believe that we only have 4 days left.  At dinner, I asked Zoya to ask Alyona what her favorite part of being in America was.  Her answer surprised me.  "All of it.  Everything." 

I was surprised because half the time she gives the impression of being completely bored, irritated, grumpy and/or anti-social towards us.  To pry her off of the Android  has been a chore. 

Back at the orphanage, she has little freedom and can make few choices.  She is told what to eat, what to wear, what time to go to bed, what to do with her time, etc.  I guess maybe just "being" has been really nice?  No matter what comes of her time here, I know that the things she has experienced, both big and small, will make a difference for a lifetime. 

I'll leave you with this:
If there was a problem, Yo -- I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while DJ revolves it.

Meeeeerry Keesmas- WOOWOO!

If you are reading this, congratulations are in order...you survived Christmas, too!  Having our special Christmas guest really did make things a lot of fun.  Last year we had a newborn with us...things were SLIGHTLY different this year!  (no diapers or 2am Christmas Eve feedings!)

Several times on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, Alyona happily yelled (she is loud, people), "Meeeeerry Keesmas- WOOWOO!"  It sounded like the Polar Express was about to pull into the station!

Our three were up during the 5 o'clock hour on Christmas morning (I so remember being that way as a kid!), but they were forbidden to leave their rooms until 7am.  All three bounded in at 7am on the nose, and begged us to wake Alyona.  That girl was OUT LIKE A LIGHT.  Poor kid!  I finally had to resort to shaking her, pointing downstairs and saying "CHRISTMAS!"
She stumbled out of bed and into the living room with the kids.  There wasn't much reaction when she saw the tree and presents, but she had just been abruptly awoken!

Each child got stocking stuffers and four gifts:  something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read.  We wanted things to be equal, and that seemed like a good way to do it.   Alyona was grabbing gifts and reading the name, and then piling them in front of each person.  It was funny, and we were impressed that she could read the English words so well!  (maybe she memorized them from seeing them on the stockings?)  Here are a few shots from the morning:

Go TCES Cougars!

Happy Reid

Move over Ralphie with your official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200 shot range air rifle...

Cole got a DS!

"Thirty-One bags?  For me?!  You shouldn't have!"

First person to find Ukraine gets a candy cane!

After we opened our gifts and took showers, my parents came over.  I pre-warned them that Alyona might not show excitement or gratitude for her gifts, but she actually did!  Mom knit her a matching hat, scarf and mittens set, which she seemed to love!  (phew!)  They also got her the cutest stuffed puppy dog, that we will fit into that small suitcase if it kills us!

By noon, we were on the road, headed up to Oakton.  She slept (or at least tried to sleep) all the way there.  She must have gotten at least some rest, because she acclimated to her new surroundings quickly, and got quite comfortable and silly!  The kids kept running to us saying, "She's dancing to Justin Bieber!  Come see!"  Of course, each time I did, she would stop.  Only dances for kids, I guess.  She actually did Google Translate "I dance very good hip hop" once. 

My sister in law, Karen,  set the most beautiful table (think Pottery Barn catalog cover, Christmas edition), and the food was DIVINE.  Alyona ate the turkey.  JUST the turkey.  Couldn't even get her to try a roll!  Oh well- at least she got some protein!  :-)

I'm sure it was uncomfortable being the one person there out of 14 people that didn't speak English or recognize the food.  She was a trooper.

Shortly after the feast, it was time for more presents.  What could bring out a huge smile like the one below?  New make-up!!  She LOVED it, and spent a great deal of time applying it this morning.  Very sweet!

 You might have seen the kudos I gave our niece, Katie, on facebook.  She was and is a rock star.  She is 16 and totally took Alyona under her wing.  She started by letting her try on 3 dresses from her closet. She modeled each one and found THE dress for the big dance this Friday!  She smiled ear to ear as we all clapped and told her how pretty she looked.

Then, Katie came down with stuff for pedicures.  She painted Alyona's toes (and Loren's!), and then did her hair and make-up.  Extreme Makeover...Alyona edition!

Check out the finished product.    VaVaVoom!

 I'm sure they'll kill me for writing this, but at the end of the evening, Katie's parents handed us a check to help with Alyona's expenses.  God has provided for us day by day, and we are thankful and blessed.  Just another tangible reminder of God's faithfulness, and the fact that we are not in this alone.  SO many people are playing a part in this experience with us...all for Alyona!!

After a wonderful evening, we drove to Chris's parents house about 15 minutes away.  I think she was exhausted at that point, and was very anxious to just head to bed with the Android to watch her Russian videos.  Couldn't blame her!

This morning we woke up to a big surprise..SNOW! 

"Bag feet" are totally in for 2013.  I read it in Cosmo...

 Although she did eat breakfast with us, she was really being quite a loner this morning.  I wish she would have felt more comfortable to hang out with us in the living room by the fireplace, but no such luck.  Around 11am we decided to head off on an adventure.  Sadly, the weather decided it was done cooperating and it just poured.  A super cold, chill you to the bone, rain.  And did we have umbrellas?  Of course not!  By the time we walked from the car to the Metro, and the Metro to the museum, we were downright drenched.  But trudge on, we did!

We were reeeeeally hoping she would like the museum.  There was SO much cool stuff to see, but she just acted bored.  Boohoo!  We wondered if maybe she just couldn't see things well without her glasses?  Either way, it was a nice way to spend the afternoon, and we really loved it.

we did manage to get a smile out of her!

 We asked her beforehand if she was familiar with Washington DC.  She said no.  We explained that the president of the United States lives in the White House, and showed her a picture in a book.  She said she recognized that building from movies.  Progress!

A gloomy day, but I really like this picture of Reid, checking out the Washington Monument.

 Our two hour ride home turned into three, thanks to the rain and some seriously heavy traffic.  Honestly, we were just happy to be warm!  It was getting late, so we stopped at Chickfila for dinner.  She inhaled her nuggets and fries, and then asked for a yogurt parfait!  YES!!! I typed "we are happy to see you eating!"  She gave me a very strange look.  Maybe it translated funny?  Like, "we like to watch you eat."  Who knows?!

I reminded her that Zoya is coming tomorrow (Ukrainian translator/chaperone that needed a place to stay for a few nights)- she is not happy.  I asked her why, and she said "I do not know her."  I assured her that we would give her Loren's room, and her "personal time" was not in jeopardy.  I'm looking forward to talking to her without having to type everything, quite frankly!

Tomorrow is trip to the dentist number three.  She's super jazzed about getting four more fillings.  NOT.

I hope all of you are still basking in the glow of Christmas, enjoying time with your loved ones.  They are priceless! 

Reindeer Food: Not Intended for Human Consumption

Merry Christmas Eve!

There is definitely an added excitement this Christmas.  Although up to this point, Alyona has been "hard to impress", I think Christmas has finally started her engine! 

The morning was nothing spectacular- haircut for Reid, a trip to the grocery store, laundry and cleaning, baking, etc.  After lunch we busted out the gingerbread house kit, and ding, ding, ding...we have a winner!
Our intent was for it to be a family project (or at minimum, a project for the kids), but Alyona was pretty bent on doing it herself.   She was very meticulous, icing the house "just so", and definitely had a vision in her mind of what she wanted the house to look like.  And let's just say that Loren apparently didn't share that vision.   Although things started out OK, when it came time to decorate, Loren tried several times to add a piece of candy, but Alyona would remove it immediately and shout "No, Loren!"  Finally, she had had enough and just burst into tears.  Ugh.  That was a bummer.  Poor Loren so desperately wanted to make the house with Alyona, and Alyona didn't quite clue in that a 6 year old needs to be spoken to a bit more gently, and just wanted to help. 

After much snuggling,consoling, and explaining, Loren finally backed off and let Alyona do it herself.  She is very proud of her finished product!

We went to the 4pm "kid friendly" Christmas Eve service at church, and Alyona really seemed to enjoy the music.  She kept asking me to point to where we were in the program, which was cute since I knew she couldn't read any of it. 

After church, we headed to our annual Christmas Eve shindig at the Jarvis' home.  That was fun!  I was thankful that their niece came over, so Alyona wasn't the only kid there older than 10. She was a good sport and seemed very comfortable in the chaos!  She was (and is) quite independent, and just does her thing.  She took a special shining to the the Jarvis' 8 year old, which was cute.  I think he was smitten, too!

As is tradition, "Papa Powell" did his annual Twas the Night Before Christmas reading...which always has a twist!  This year, Rudolph was MIA, and Santa needed some substitutes.  Not knowing what was being said, I'm sure Alyona was completely confused!  She followed the lead of the other kids, and just rolled with it!  Does she even know who Rudolph is?!

 Papa Powell always gives each child a bag of Reindeer Food when they leave.  The girl who won't eat soup, pizza, salad, lasagna, ham sandwiches, or a burger, dove right into her bag of Reindeer food.  Ok, that she'll eat?!  We explained that the Reindeer food was to be scattered on the lawn when we got home.  She looked at me like I had two heads, and got in the van.  I Googled Translated "Americans are crazy", and she nodded.
When we got home and she saw our 3 scattering the food on the lawn, she followed suit!

Just a few minutes after we came inside, there was a knock at the door.  There were about 20 Christmas carolers (our neighbors) who stood there with candles and Santa hats, singing at the tops of their lungs.  Alyona gasped and grabbed her camera.  Perfect timing!

Like usual, she got ready for bed and headed up to her room with the Android to watch her Russian shows.  Only this time, she was shouting "Merry Christmas!" over and over, and even had a big hug for host mama.  A perfect ending to a wonderful day.  

Double Your Pleasure

Yes, I am writing two blog posts, back to back.  Since the last one was more about hosting in general than it was about Alyona specifically, and since I have some cute pictures to share...here you go!

Yesterday we joined the Dowda family at the indoor pool they belong to.  They also have 3 children and are hosting a teen from Ukraine.  We had a fantastic time, and as refreshing as it was for Alyona and Sergiy to speak Russian to each other, it was equally refreshing for Jen and I to speak "host mom!"

She enjoyed trying out her brand new bathing suit, and reeeeeally enjoyed swimming with Sergiy (the boy we ran into at the Nutcracker).  Take a look at this handsome dude (far right)...who can blame her??

The Scoggins and the Dowdas, with Alyona and Sergiy

Earlier that day, Alyona gave me about 5 different hairstyles.  By the time she was finished, my hair was quite hat worthy.  After swimming, we ordered pizza.  She wouldn't even take a bite, while Sergiy plowed through piece after piece.  Jen encouraged me by saying, "If a cute boy can't encourage her to eat something that she doesn't want to, you certainly shouldn't feel bad that you can't!"  Truth!

Each year at Christmastime, we make our annual trip to Bass Pro Shops...

Posing in front of the fire

 

 

We had really hoped for a picture with Santa, but there was a two hour wait.  Bah Humbug!  Posing with this bear was almost as Christmassy...

Alyona thinks we are crazy and tried to escape back to Ukraine, but she couldn't find the key...

That night we really blew her mind by taking her to the Goochland Drive In Theater.  She was so confused!  Before the movie, we took a hayride with a very special someone:

After thawing a bit and sipping some hot cocoa, A Christmas Story started.  She laughed out loud at a few scenes, and then decided to grab some blankets and go to sleep in the back seat.  Movies (even hilarious classics) aren't as exciting when you can't understand the words.  I think she enjoyed it, though, overall.

Today we went to church, and then drove all the way to Mechanicsville to play soccer with a bunch of kids (including Sergiy), only to have her totally chicken out.  I think she got a little intimidated by all of the teens that were there,  and their athletic abilities.
She spent some time up in "her" room watching her Russian shows, while I finished some Christmas shopping with Loren.  After dinner, we literally forced her to play the Wii with us.  It was a disaster.  She couldn't figure it out, and had no interest.  Family bonding fail. 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's next bonding attempt:  "Christmas Cookie Baking Blitz"...

Take a risk for an orphan...I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!

A week ago today, 4 couples from our church (and several others) stood at Dulles airport, anxiously awaiting a plane to land.  A plane carrying the precious Ukrainian orphans that we had daydreamed about, sat through 8 hours of training for...the orphans on which we had all spent a small fortune to fly here.  We memorized their photos, learned as much about them as we could (which wasn't much), cleaned parts of our homes that probably hadn't been touched for a while (ok, I might be speaking for myself here)- we even tried our darndest to learn some Russian (I know 4 words- be impressed.)  I think, to some extent, each of us had fallen in love with our host child. 

So...what happens when that child (the child we each chose, mind you) gives you the cold shoulder?  What happens when they won't eat 99% of what you put in front of them?  Tantrums?  Nobody said anything about tantrums!!  Hygiene issues?  No problem!  As soon as I give this little angel some instruction, all will be right with the world... they will see the error of their ways, and boom!  Problem solved!  WRONG. 

What happens when that child embarrasses the tar out of you by being rude to someone?  Or when you hear a new English word come out of that sweetheart's mouth that has four letters.  And that word isn't LOVE, people!  What if they lie to you?

No English?  No problem!  We've got Google Translate!  Oh wait, it only works Russian to English like 2% of the time?  Dang. 

Let me get this straight... sweet little Ukrainian orphans can roll their eyes, disobey, push boundaries, act ungratefully and/or disrespectfully, shut down, act like slobs, and cop an attitude when they don't get their way??  But, but...they looked so sweet in their pictures!  Our angel was wearing a sweatshirt with a puppy dog on it, for cryin' out loud!  Have we been duped?! 

Here's the thing.  We weren't duped.  Nobody "triple dog dared" any of us to host.  All of us KNEW it would be hard.  Maybe it's hard in ways that we didn't realize at the time, but it's not like any of us were expecting a walk in the park.  The bottom line is...these kids are orphans.  They are WOUNDED.  They are HURTING.  They have been neglected, abandoned, abused, and forced to fend for themselves.  They have been plopped into homes with strangers that they can't understand.  The food is new.  The culture is new.  The smells and sights are new.   Being  part of a family is new.  Imagine what it's like for them!

You might be thinking, "Um...why did you guys do this, exactly?  Maybe you should just stick with those newborns!"  Well,  I'll start with telling you why we did NOT do it.  We did NOT do it because we are awesome.  We are selfish and grumpy and our attitudes are often terrible.  We did NOT do it because we couldn't think of anything else to spend our money on.  We did NOT do it because we are experts at parenting a teen.  "Clueless, your table for two is ready...Clueless..."  We did NOT do it because we love a good challenge.  I speak for all of the host families when I say...we are nothing special, and this is hard.

We all chose to bring a child into our home for Christmas because we are blessed.  It is that simple.  Luke 12:48 says that to whom much is given, much will be required.  We have an extra spot at our table, and an extra seat in the van.  We have plenty of food in our 'fridge and pantry.  We have a warm house with lots of love (sprinkled with just a touch of  fighting and yelling, for good measure)- we have support from family and friends, and we have a heart for orphans. 

There. Are.  So. Many. Orphans.  

The need is greater than you can even imagine.  Foster care, adoption, mentoring, helping financially, etc.  Everyone can help, and we are just trying to do our part.  We have been given much.

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...

Blessings, Bummers and Teen 'tude

Day five is history, and we've had our struggles and challenges.  Today, a friend sent me a message saying, "I get the feeling this is harder than you thought it would be?"  To which I replied, "Yes, but I would do it again."  This hosting program is remarkable, and the opportunities it provides these kids is unmatched.  We knew it wouldn't be easy, but few things that are worth doing ever are...right?
This post might be all over the map, as I'm emotionally exhausted and my brain is mush.  Mushier than usual, even, so here goes...

Yesterday was the first day that all of our kids were in school, and Chris and I were looking forward to some time with Alyona.  We started the morning watching the Jesus movie in Russian.  Afterwards, we told her that Jesus loves her, and that the movie she just watched was true from the bible.  We told her that our family follows Jesus, and she just replied "Yes.  Goot." 

After that, we took her to lunch at Legend's (thanks, Living Social coupon!)  We ordered her a burger, thinking we were safe since Chris made her a burger her first night with us, which she completely inhaled.  Well, this one was all wrong, apparently.  She gave the "thumbs down" and said "No.  Bad."  We told her it was the exact same thing that Chris made for her and she loved it.  No go.  Wouldn't even take a bite.  BUMMER.  I asked her if she ever went to restaurants in Ukraine and she said yes.  I asked who takes her, but the reply (google translate) was gobbledygook.  Yet another mystery. 

At 2pm it was off to the dentist for 4 fillings.  She was very brave.  We will go back on Thursday to have the other 4 cavities filled.  The work she is getting done is free of charge.  Our dentist used to do foster care and he has a heart for orphans.  BLESSING.
 
After a dinner of leftovers, it was off to do the Tacky Lights Tour.  Our kids were SO excited, and I couldn't wait to see the look on Alyona's face when she saw the houses.  We're talking big time- there was even a segment on Richmond's Tacky Lights tour on TLC.  As is our tradition, we got our CFA shakes and off we went.  She. Could. Not. Have. Cared. Less.  BUMMER. 

I was feeling so deflated when we got home.  I had really been looking forward to our day, but it kind of stunk.  I feel like our attempts at "impressing" her are falling flat.

I was reminded again, though, that we are not in this alone.  When I went to pick Reid up from CYT (before the lights debacle), I was handed four Target Gift cards- one for each host child at our church.  I DID NOT KNOW THIS PERSON.  We were also given $100 cash to help with expenses while Alyona is here.  FROM ANOTHER TOTAL STRANGER, who heard about our hosting adventure.  BLESSING upon BLESSING.

This morning I awoke, praying for a good attitude and low to no expectations.  We started with a trip to the eye doctor, which went well.  I discovered via her exam that her eye sight is terrible, BUT, she has glasses.  In Ukraine.  Not helpful.  I asked her why she didn't pack them, and she just shrugged.  The doctor said she should be wearing them every waking moment, which we translated.  In return I was given a giant eye roll.  TEEN 'TUDE.
Two of the other host moms were at the eye doctor as well, and talking to them was like a huge breath of fresh air.  I really needed that.  This is a bonding experience for us, to say the least.

On the drive home, Chris called and said that his coworker (and friend!) wanted to buy Alyona a NEW bathing suit as a Christmas present and we were to meet her at the mall.  BLESSING. 

Here we are at Dick's Sporting Goods with Dee...she even bought her goggles.  (Notice the plaid skirt and paisley top.  I have made a few clothing suggestions that were not well received, thus, I have  learned to pick my battles!)

 After we got home and had lunch, she pointed upstairs, which is code for "I'm going to my room to watch You Tube videos in Russian."  We have tried MANY times to engage her with games, activities, etc, but she has no interest.  If we push it, guess what we get in return:  TEEN 'TUDE.
UGHHHHHH.  Chris and I agree that she is here for 19 days, and it's not worth fighting over.  It's disappointing that she wants to just "hide" upstairs, but I guess I was like that as a teen, too.  And communicating is really, really hard.  It's tiring for all of us, I'm sure. 

We needed something quick for dinner, so we could get Reid to basketball practice.   Check this out:

I wish she loved the food as much as she loved Santa Cow.  BUMMER.  Sure got a cute picture, though.  And might I add:  Bryan, the CFA owner, is a rock star.  BLESSING.

Finally, it was time for the Nutcracker.  Here we are, about to go in:

I think she enjoyed it, and it was refreshing doing an activity that required no English.
During intermission, she made a call on her cell phone.  Yes, she has a cell phone that even takes pictures.  She said she won it in a running race in Ukraine.  It was a prize.  Anyhoo...I asked her who she was talking to, and she said, "sister."  "In Ukraine??", I asked.  She said "yes."  Odd, as the other day she told the translator that she didn't know her number and had never seen her sister.  Not to mention that she called Ukraine which I would imagine cost an arm and a leg (who pays her cell phone bill??)... and it was 3am there.  ???  Mysterious, and I have no clue what to think about that one.

As we were leaving we ran into the Dowda family, who is hosting a teen boy from Ukraine named Sergiy.  They were at the training we went to a few weeks ago.  Well, let me just say that the smile that followed their introduction (they are not from the same orphanage and they did not travel here together) was the biggest one I've seen yet.  Ha!!!  I told her that "this is the family that invited us to go swimming tomorrow at an indoor pool"  I thought she might faint dead away.  When we got to the car, she grabbed my phone and typed "Sergiy at dance?"  I told her yes, and she shouted, "GOOT!"  LOLLLLLLLL!!!  I think somebody has a crush!!!

When we got home I told Chris that Alyona met Sergiy, and she turned red, then gave us both a big hug and said goodnight in Russian.  It was the first time in days that she said goodnight to us (she usually just gets up and leaves)- progress?!

3 Days Down

Well, it's been three full days with Alyona.  So far, so good. 
Her internal clock still seems to be on Ukraine time, and she is a very early riser.  Hasn't come out of her room later than 6:30am yet.  I thought teenagers liked to sleep in?!
Reid will finally head back to school tomorrow, after being home all week recovering from the flu.  It will be nice to have 2 days just with Alyona and Chris, before the kids are off for Christmas break.

I think our challenge has been what to do with her when we are home.  When we are out and about (which she loves) it's fairly easy.  When we are home, she is resistant to playing games, and conversing via the Google Translate isn't working very well.  She pretty much wants to watch Russian videos on You Tube, and that's about it.  We are trying to engage her , but it's hard.  In addition, we do have some day to day, regular "life things" that need to be done.  I think the struggle for us is feeling like we need to entertain her, or be "on" at every moment.  Does that make sense?  We are trying to just let that go, and not feel guilty when we treat her more as a temporary part of the family, than a house guest.

Last night a friend came over for dinner and to translate.  She was absolutely wonderful, and it was SO NICE being able "talk" rather than type everything out or play charades.  Most of what Alyona shared about her past, present and future was totally different than what we've been told by other sources.  So, we are left pretty confused and not knowing what's true.  What we do know for sure is that she has had a hard life.  She said she was dropped off at the orphanage when she was 5 months old, "by her sister" (who was 7 at the time, so that really doesn't make sense).  She also said that she started school at age 10, which is why she is 15 and in 7th grade.   She has a lot of trouble spelling, and when we attempted to play UNO today, she insisted that 6 and 9 were the same number.  She said "six and six!", no matter how many times we said, "no, that is a NINE", she just kept shaking her head no and calling it a six.  She has NO interest in reading, and we're wondering if it's because she can't read very well.  She can read what I type out on Google Translate, but those are pretty short, basic sentences.  Many questions- many unknowns. 

In other news, today was dentist day.  Sorry, for those of you who have been following on Facebook- this might be repetitive.  She has EIGHT cavities.  Yikes.  So, we'll head back tomorrow to fill four of them (hopefully), and we'll go back a 3rd time to fill the other 4.  The hygienist said she had what looked like years of build up, and even just cleaning them would be best with some Novocaine.  Serious plaque scraping ahead, people!
She was a good sport about the whole thing, and knows that she will be going back for fillings and seems fine with it.

After the dentist, we went to Short Pump Town Center and had lunch in the food court.  She is becoming a pickier eater.  She didn't want to try last night's lasagna, and although she picked chicken parm on top of spaghetti for lunch, she didn't like that either.  Thankfully, fruit is a good plan B. 
I thought she would be more "impressed" with the mall (especially that particular mall), but she didn't seem to be.  I think she lives in a city, so maybe Richmond is nothing special. 

After lunch, she was treated to a manicure...which she LOVED.  She is very much a girly girl, and although good hygeine isn't her strong suit (cultural, plus she never had parents to teach her), she does very much care about her appearance.  She was all dressed up in a skirt with tights and Loren's fake pearls this morning. :-)  She changed into jeans this afternoon.

One thing that is VERY different for her is just living in a house with a family.  She has NEVER done that.  She is adjusting well and seems comfortable.  She is pretty messy (room looks like a cyclone hit it, although on the first day she made the bed and had everything in its place.  I guess the "I will try to impress my host parents" honeymoon phase was short lived!)

She is very good with the kids and they are quite tolerant of her and the changes she has made in their lives.  For example, Cole gave up his room for her and he sleeps on the couch, Loren pretty much lets Alyona carry her everywhere and even feed her (that's a sight to see), and she ALWAYS holds Reid's hand when we are out walking anywhere.  Trust me- he is not interested in being "babied" like that, but he puts up with it without complaint.  We are proud of the kids, and I suppose that having babies in and out of the house for the past 2.5 years has made sharing their home and their parents with Alyona seem very normal.

Tonight we went to a Christmas party at church.  When we GOT there, everyone was in festive Christmas attire (hats, bells, etc)  As you can see, I was the only one who stayed hard core until the end.  Interestingly enough, the 3 other Ukrainian girls were there, too, and they didn't really talk to each other.  It was fun, but she made it clear that she was ready to go, by doing the "steer the car" charades...love it.

Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore...

Greetings from the cooties castle.  I am happy to report that today was the last day of Loren's 5 days of pneumonia meds, and she is doing much better.  Reid, who was diagnosed with the flu yesterday, is fever free today.  Thank you, Lord!!  Hoping to send him back to school on Thursday, just in time for his class Christmas party.  :-)

With all the craziness of doctor's appts and middle of the night vomiting, let's throw a 15 year old Ukrainian orphan into the mix, for good measure!  Ha!  Poor kid had to spend an hour of her first day in America at the pediatrician's office.  Well, I suppose everything and anything can be a new adventure when you're in a foreign land, right?  

 I'll begin with posting some pictures from Sunday night at the airport- what an excited night that was!  The first picture is of the four West End Pres couples, as we anxiously wait for the plane to land...love these guys SO much:

And here is a picture of our first Alyona sighting!  Those poor kids were beyond exhausted.

When we got home a little after midnight, we gave her a quick tour of the house and then she took a much needed bath.  I had grand plans of telling her about the morning routine, etc, but it never happened.  We winged it!  So, the next morning she got up with Loren and Cole at 6:30am, and that was the first time she met the kids.  They were SO excited!  Loren, especially, just loves her, and is really a good sport about letting Alyona "mother her", for lack of a better term.  I think Alyona wants to be helpful, and my guess is she helps the little ones at the orphanage.  If you didn't see the Facebook picture of Loren after A dressed her, you'll definitely want to check that one out!  Here is a picture of Loren after A put her hat on for her:

 After L and C got on the bus, we spent the morning just hanging out.  Here she is looking at pictures on my iPhone.  She saw one of me holding one of our Bethany babies in the NICU, wearing a surgical mask.  She pointed to me and asked, "Doctor?!"  LOL

Here she is playing a game on the iPad with Reid (who has also been a very good sport)

When we returned from the pediatrician, she said that she wanted to make lunch for us.  After not understanding what she was asking for ingredient wise, I took her to the European market, where thankfully, the owner spoke Russian.  Handy!  On the drive home, we passed a Chickfila.   I pointed and rubbed my tummy going "Mmmmmm.  Good".

She made "salad", soup, and she boiled some chicken.  EVERYTHING had mayo, which is apparently Ukraine's condiment of choice.  It was even dolloped into our soup and spread on the bread she put out.  We rolled with it, knowing she's rolling with our food. Here she is preparing the feast with Chris:

The donated clothes seem to fit, and she is actually about an inch taller than I am.  Each morning she "presents herself" in her new clothes, until we give her the thumbs up and say "Nice!"
I will be taking her shopping for shoes, as the ones she is wearing seem too small.  She says they hurt.

Everything we had been told about the kids being picky eaters doesn't seem to apply to Alyona.  She eats whatever we put in front of her...and with gusto!  Last night we had a meal of cheeseburgers, fries, clementine wedges and strawberries.  She woofed it down like it was her last meal.  I was so glad!  (thank you, Chris, for cooking dinner!)  We let Reid pick out a movie, and Alyona fell asleep on the couch around 8pm, and then just walked upstairs and went to bed.  I was in bed by 8:30, after also falling asleep on the couch!

We spend a lot of time teaching her things that we would consider fairly basic.  Things like how to buckle your seat belt, how to put on deodorant, how to put your dishes in the dishwasher (she rinses them (no soap, just a water rinse) and puts them back in the cabinet dripping wet- oh dear!)
She put the pot she had just boiled chicken in, straight from the stove top on to the dining room table.  "Nyet!!" We are careful not to have a reprimanding tone, but a "let's actually do it this way" tone.

So far, we haven't done anything too exciting.  In fact, as I type this, Chris is leaving to pick Cole up from school.  He's complaining of an upset stomach.  Grrrrrreat.
We want to just acclimate her to the house, our routine, get her used to our time zone, etc.

She is a very sweet girl, and VERY eager to help.  This "hosting a teen" thing requires a lot of patience and "dying to self".  Neither of which are my strong suit. I'm very selfish at my core, so this is a good experience for me, and I pray a wonderful experience for her.

Again, if you or someone you know has a heart for adoption and is interested in meeting Alyona and getting to know her, please let me know.  Our hope is definitely to connect her to a loving family to adopt her.  Especially knowing she will turn 16 in May and this is her last opportunity to be hosted.  A Russian speaking friend is coming to dinner tonight to do some translating for us.  We hope to learn more of Alyona's back story. 

Thanks for walking alongside us in this adventure!

Today is the day!

Four hours from now, we will be driving to Dulles Airport with 3 sets of friends.  Seven hours from now, we'll be wrapping our arms around our host children.  I can't wait to replace the whopping two photos we've seen of Alyona, for the real deal!

They began their  journey yesterday with a mega long train ride, followed by a flight from Kiev.  These are going to be 4 exhausted girls (the other Richmond area kids will arrive tomorrow.)  I keep wondering what they are thinking right now.  I'm sure they are overwhelmed with the newness of the trains and planes, different languages, and time zone changes.  I'm sure they are wondering what we're like, what our house looks like, what this experience will be like in general!
Talk about brave!  As an adult, I can't imagine if someone stuck me on a plane to go stay with a strange family (emphasis on STRANGE!) in a far away country, where they didn't even speak my language for three weeks.  Can you imagine??

Our family has been so humbled with the kindness and generosity of friends and family, and even strangers.  We have more hand me downs than I know what to do with, as well as gift cards to get her things she will need, like shoes.  We are so very blessed, and we will be SURE to explain to her that many people wanted to be involved in her trip, because we are loved and because she is loved.

I know you will be dying to see pictures, and I will do my best to post them ASAP.  We aren't expecting to be home before midnight, though, so have as much patience as you can muster.  ;-)

Thanks to each person who has encouraged us and is praying for us as we begin this new and very exciting journey.

Until my next post, I'll leave you with this:
Father of the fatherless, be with your sons and daughters this Christmas.

I like adoption.

I've had the privilege of meeting several members of this family, including the little girl in the wheelchair and the boy playing the piano...with his toes.  When Chris and I saw him at a Bethany Christian Services dinner, he was playing the guitar.  His dad, Mike, spoke about how adoption had changed his life in radical, wonderful ways.
I just had to post this video.  My two favorite quotes:

Sharon: "We are such victims of our culture...focus on what's important, and the rest will follow."

Mike: "There is no physical thing that you can buy that's going to give you true peace and happiness.  The pure joy that will come from the rescue and ransom of a child's life is probably the most satisfying thing you can imagine."

Watch and be moved.

I like adoption.

You've got questions? I've got answers.

Unless, of course,  your question is, "what size does Alyona wear?".  I have no answer for that one...yet.

Well, time is flying by and Alyona and the other 7 orphans from Ukraine arrive in just 5 days.  WOW.
I'm going to do this blog post in a Q and A format.  People have either asked me/us these questions, or you've been thinking them.  I just know it!

Q.  How long will Alyona stay?
A. 19 days.  She will fly home on January 3rd.

Q.  Will she have to go back, even if a forever family is found?
A.  Yes.  The adoption process takes many months, and more paperwork, home studies, references, etc, than you can shake a stick at.  Oh, and did I mention an adoption from Ukraine costs about $25K.  Yeah.

Q.  Is the Scoggins family prepared?
A. Yes and no.  We feel like the training we've had and the blog stalking I've done, coupled with email exchanges and phone calls from families that have hosted before, have given me/us a pretty good idea of what to expect.  No, in that we don't have the things we need for her, yet.  Mostly because we don't know her size.  I'm still looking for clothing donations.  (gently used hand me downs are great!)  Pants and jeans, mostly.

Q. What are you most nervous about?
A.  The language barrier.  For sure.

Q.  What do you have planned for her time here?
A.  Well, we know she'll need at least 2-3 days just to recover from the travel and jet lag, and to get her internal clock matched with our time zone.  Those first few days we will pretty much "lay low", except for a trip or two to the store to get her the above mentioned pants.  And shoes.  And a coat.  And pajamas.

After we've found our groove, we're gonna show her a good time, RVA style!  Here's what's on tap:  "mom"/daughter pedis, The Nutcracker (no English required!), Richmond's famous Tacky Lights Tour (CFA peppermint milk shakes in hand, as is our tradition!), lots of games, Christmas baking  for the neighbors, A Christmas Story at the Drive-In  (complete with Santa, a wagon ride decorated with lights, a bonfire, cocoa...how awesome is that???), and a "Mingle and Jingle" dance, put on by the orphan care ministries of West End Pres and Hope Church.  If you would like to attend, let me know and I'll get you the info!

Q.  What are you most excited for?
A.  I'm most excited to see if this experience will be the ticket to finding her forever family.  Beyond that, I'm excited to just share in her joy as she experiences things for the first time.  Like, being part of a family in a home, rather than being one of many kids in an orphanage.  Even little things like presents on Christmas morning, eating at a restaurant, and relaxing in a bubble bath will be new to her!  (we've heard that bubble baths are huge hits for the kids- even teenage boys love them!)

And now, the question you've all wanted to ask, but haven't dared to (ok, some of you have dared)...

Q. Is it possible that you will adopt her?
A. That is not our intention at this time.  We will pull out all the stops to make sure that any couple that wants to get to know her or pursue her gets the opportunity.  As far as she knows, this is a "vacation" and a chance to visit America, and nothing more.  (of course, she has seen her friends hosted and then adopted, so she knows, I'm sure, that this could be her chance)
We have been witness to God doing some pretty crazy, dare I say "miraculous" stuff, so I'm not going to try to predict or assume anything.
We are anxious to sit back and enjoy the show,  humbled to even be playing a small part in it.

If you have a question that didn't get answered, feel free to ask.
For now, I'll leave you with these verses- All three of them are pretty huge to me right now...

 Proverbs 24:12

"Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."

Psalm 68:6
"God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy."



Ephesians 3:20
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think"

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