Ten...again.

Tracy's Top Ten Reasons to

Consider Orphan Hosting

 

 

 

 

1. YOU GET TO TRY YOUR HAND AT FUNDRAISING

 

Stop rubbing your eyes and blinking hard.  YES, you are reading that correctly...you GET to fundraise.  Asking for help is never easy.  Asking for MONEY?  Ten times less fun.  BUT...you will be surprised at how your friends and family will WANT to be a part of your orphan hosting journey.  It's not like you're asking for money to get Botox or a year of spray tans;  this is a child's LIFE.  Like I've said many times before, this is a TEAM effort, and many of your team members are going to help you out financially.  PEOPLE WANT TO HELP, and you're just providing them with an opportunity to do so!  Orphan hosting fees are about $3,000.  That does NOT include domestic travel to pick up or return your child to the airport the kids flew into.  This year for us, that was Chicago, which added another $2,000 that we weren't expecting.  IT. WAS. ALL. COVERED.  God will provide!

 

2. IT WILL INCONVENIENCE YOUR OWN KIDS

 

Bringing another child into your home for 4-8 weeks (depending on if you're hosting during winter or summer) is going to rock your entire family's world.  That is a good, GOOD thing.  As humans, we are pretty selfish.  It's just how we're wired.  When you're an adult, you learn to "mask" that selfishness a bit.  Kids?  Not so much; it's just OUT THERE for all to see!  Especially at Christmas time...can I get an "amen?!"  It's so awesome to see your children take their eyeballs off of themselves, and put them on a child who is so very different.  A child who longs for the very things that they take for granted, simply because of where they live and where they were born.  Loving parents, public school, church, a stocked 'fridge, their own belongings, and affection, just to name a few.

 

3. IT'S REALLY COOL TO LEARN ABOUT ANOTHER CULTURE

Most children haven't traveled outside of the U.S. much, if at all.  Through orphan hosting, another country comes to YOU!  :-)  So far we have hosted a child from Ukraine and one from China.  It's so much fun for all of us, but especially the kids, to hear conversations in another language, to see and taste some very different foods, and to try to put themselves in the orphan's shoes.  We look at the globe to see where they are from, hear their national anthem, learn some of their ways, etc.  When I showed them this picture of a Chinese toilet, they were like "Whaaaaaaaa?!"

 

 

4. IN SHOWING YOUR HOST CHILD A GOOD TIME, YOU'LL HAVE A GOOD TIME, TOO!





As soon as we decided we were going to host again, I started tucking extra cash away in an envelope on my dresser, marked "Jia Fun Money."  Being hosted is an incredible vacation, away from the monotony of life in an orphanage.  EVERYTHING is new to them, and they are so excited to experience everything from going out to dinner, to seeing Santa, to shopping for something that is special and just for them, to taking a trip to Jumpology.  All of these things are pricey, especially when you add in your entire family, so just start saving!  You'll be so glad you did.  The special activities are special for EVERYONE!  At the end of your child's stay, put together a little photo album of their time with you, so they can always remember the special things they did with you and your family.  They'll love it!


 

 

 

 

5. A FIRST THAT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU

 

When we did our hosting training in 2012 (which was live, not online), the instructors were actually teaching us how to teach our host kids to give and receive a hug.  No kidding- they told us that they may or may not know what to do, and they would need to be taught.  Turns out, Alyona knew the ropes and was fairly affectionate.  JiaQing?  TOTALLY NEW.  He had no earthly clue how to give or receive a hug, a cuddle, sit on a lap, be picked up and carried, none of it.  Is that heart breaking, or what?  Although I wouldn't say it's his favorite thing in the world, he now will let us hug him.  He's still rather stiff, and we're lucky if he hugs us back, but it's a start.  He'll also let Chris throw him over his shoulder in a playful way, accept goodnight kisses on the forehead, and he hugs the kids- especially Loren.  It's kind of like a "tackle-hug".  :-)



 

 

 

6.  THE AIRPORT MOMENT

 

Oh. My. Gosh.  The airport moment.  When you finally lay eyes on the child whose picture you've studied for hours, there is just no describing it.

 

 

7. YOUR GROCERY BILL WILL SKYROCKET, YOU'LL GET LESS SLEEP, AND THE DIRTY LAUNDRY PILE WILL BE A LOT BIGGER

 

OK, I see that you're rubbing your eyes and blinking hard again.  I add this as a reason to host because in all honesty, sacrificing of your time, resources and energy to serve another, expecting nothing in return, just feels so gosh darn good.  We all should do it every now and again!  Get out of that comfort zone!  *The amount of fresh fruit these kids consume in a day will blow your mind. 

 

8. IT WILL DO WONDERS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

 

Now, I need to elaborate on this one a bit.  If you are not BOTH on board with hosting, don't do it.  I wanted to host again over Christmas 2013, but Chris needed a break (we were still doing interim care for Bethany Christian Services at the time, so I could see where he was coming from).  Although I was bummed out, I didn't push it.  Why?  Because it's not always easy. It has to be both or neither.

That is true of adoption, too, by the way!  I haven't mentioned this at all, but the first few days that JQ was here, Chris was struggling.  I'm not even sure he could tell you why, as I don't think he could even pin point it.  I know the house volume like quadrupled, and that might have been part of it.  Although it was hard for all of us to see him grumpy and stressed, we were able to work though it, talk through it, and pray through it.  Hosting will bond you- trust me on this!

 

9. HOST BECAUSE THESE KIDS DESERVE A BREAK

 

It's not their fault that they were dealt a crappy hand.  They didn't choose to be abandoned by their birth parents.  They didn't choose to live in an orphanage or a foster home.  They didn't choose to have birth defects.  They didn't choose to be born in Ukraine or China or Latvia.  A lot of times these kiddos have a pretty tough exterior, but they are just hurting little marshmallows on the inside.  They are forced to be independent, to make their own way, to do what it takes to survive.  Coming to America to just be a kid is such an amazing gift for them.  Even if the child doesn't go back with a forever family identified for him or her, they are leaving with amazing memories of fun activities, of being LOVED by a mom and dad and siblings, of relaxing and letting their guard down to just BE.

 

10.  BECAUSE YOU HOST, AN ORPHAN COULD FIND A FOREVER FAMILY

 

Let that sink in.  Because you host, a child's life could change FOREVER.

Not every child that is hosted is adoptable (in which case they will be listed as "host only"), but most of them are.  Many of them have been waiting for years to be chosen- JiaQing has been an orphan his ENTIRE life, and he is still waiting for a forever family.  If he hadn't been chosen for hosting, he would still just be listed on a few "waiting children" adoption sites.  Just a crappy, blurry photo with a couple of sentences about him.  That's it, and clearly, that hasn't worked for him up to this point.  When you host, your job is to advocate for this kid like there's no tomorrow.  You'll tell EVERYONE he or she is here.  You'll post pictures and videos and stories.  You'll tell people to share about him or her.  You'll make yourself available if any adoption minded  couples want to meet or get to know your host child.  I know children who were adopted by their host families, and I know children who were adopted by friends of their host families.  And of course, many children aren't adopted at all.  Please don't let that stop you.  Hosting gives them a CHANCE, where their chances would have been close to zero, otherwise.

 

For more information on orphan hosting, please check out these websites!

New Horizons

Project 143

 

 

 

 

 

 





 



 



 

 





TEN

JiaQing has been with us for 10 crazy, interesting, fun, stressful, awesome days.

Where to begin??  Well, he's doing GREAT.  Seriously, we are amazed at his ability to adapt to COMPLETELY new surroundings.  If you flew me to China to live with some Chinese strangers, there is NO WAY.  I would be so miserable, longing for what was familiar.  He has been so easy going, so happy, and so adaptable!  Although we have certainly offered him many familiar foods, he's also been more than happy to at least try most things.  He is learning our family's routine, our habits, etc., and he seems very comfortable. 

Before tucking the kids in bed, all 5 (now 6) of us pile on our king size bed to pray.  The first couple nights he had no clue what we were doing.  Praying was very foreign to him, and soon after we started, he would just wander out of the room.  Now, he sits on the bed, folds his hands and closes his eyes.  He folds his hands before we pray at meals, too.  SO SWEET!  Although to my knowledge he has never been to a church service EVER, he did so great on Sunday.  He sat quietly with us, coloring and doing math problems.  He tried to sing, and whenever the congregation stood, he stood, too.  He's crazy smart, for sure.  He LOVED the Christmas Eve service.  Here is the video of him singing, in case you missed it on Facebook...

  He knows a lot of the words to O Come O come Emmanuel, Angels We Have Heard on High, and Jingle Bells (he STILL says "Jingo Bongs!")...just from 10 days of hearing those songs on the radio, here and there.  Amazing!  He also kept asking Chris to point out where we were in the program/bulletin.  He's very good at sitting still when he has to be.  When he does NOT have to be?  Oh. My.

The child is loud.  I mean LOUD.  When he gets excited, he is like a hurricane ripping through the house.  Chris loves it!  Not.
Last night when we were celebrating Christmas with my inlaws, he was in rare form, for sure.  He's so flippin' cute though, you just kind of have to laugh at his antics!  He took a real liking to our 15 year old nephew, and pretty much lovingly terrorized him the whole time!  Oh, sweet Nick.  He was a good sport!  Here they are, in a rare moment that JQ wasn't tackling him...

 

It's so wild to think that this was his very first Christmas.  It's no wonder he was beside himself with happiness, joy and pure craziness!  He loved it all.  Decorating and delivering Christmas cookies, gifts, the music, the stockings, the food, the Christmas tree- all of it. 

HE made this such a special Christmas for US!!

 

Our kids with their cousins, Katie and Nick

 

 

Last night after opening gifts and eating dinner at Chris's brother's house, we drove about 15 minutes to Chris's parents' house to sleepover.  He was SO cute.  There were 3 different rooms:  one for Loren, one for the boys, and one for us.  He pointed to our bed and said, "mommy?  baba?"  I said, "yes, this is where mommy and baba will sleep", and he clapped his hands and smiled.  Then, I guess to be extra sure, he went out in the hallway and asked Chris the same thing, using the translating app.  Chris told him where we were sleeping, and he clapped again.  I'm not sure if he was relieved that we weren't leaving him, or what, but it was really sweet.  Then Chris typed, "go give mommy a hug.  it will make her very happy."  So, in he runs to give me the best and biggest hug he has yet to date.  I was fighting back tears!  Hugs were COMPLETELY new to him.  It's like he'd never been hugged, and just had no idea how to receive a hug or what to do.  At first, he would either push us away entirely, or just go stiff as a board.  This was huge.  HUGE.  He also would not be comforted his first couple of days here (found that out when he slipped on our hardwood stairs and got a walnut on the back of his head.  He tried very hard not to cry, and didn't want me touching him.)

 

  On Christmas Eve, he fell eye first into the corner of Cole's bedframe.  He was bleeding, so of course I freaked.  BUT...this time he let me hold him and check out the booboo. 

That was also pretty huge.  (please don't start counting the injuries....

they really just go hand in hand with the 2 teeth he's lost!) 

 

Today when we pulled into the driveway after being gone for over 24 hours, he started clapping and laughing and saying the Mandarin word for "home."  Melt.

 

You know what I like most about him, though?  He is soooo funny.  You can totally joke around with him, and he gets it!  He even makes his own jokes!  Today Loren got her ears pierced as a belated birthday present, and I was saying "JiaQing do it!", as I pressed on his earlobes.  He was DYING laughing, saying "NOOOOOOO!"

 



He also makes hilarious faces, animal noises, etc.  Love him!!

It hasn't all been rainbows and lollipops, but honestly, we can't complain.  Even the very few times we've had to reprimand him, he is very remorseful.  He doesn't want us to be disappointed in him.
We seem to be finding our groove, and we're really enjoying him.  He seems to be enjoying us, too, and his "social butterfly" personality is a good fit for our family.  The kids love him (when he's not annoying them, of course!), and Chris and I love him, too!

Here are a few more random pics...enjoy!

These 4

Decorating Christmas Cookies

 

Reid likes having a little brother around!

Playing with their yo-yos from Aunt Karen and "Chief!"

The Elephant in the Room

Finally...a blog post!  We got home from Chicago with JiaQing around midnight on Tuesday, and Chris finished out the work week.  I haven't had a spare moment to write (other than my 847 Facebook posts, of course.  ha!)

Before I write anything else, I have to say a huge THANK YOU to all of the people who donated towards our hosting fees or flights, to Carolee and Rick for keeping our three kids and taking care of the dog while we were picking up JQ, and to Jon and Tama, for picking us up from and returning us to O'Hare, as well as putting Chris and me up for the night in their home while we were in Chicago.  Orphan hosting is a TEAM effort, for sure!!! 

JQ has been adaptable, funny, sweet, and active.  He loves Nerf gun fights, playing with the dog, drinking OJ, going to visit nana and papa down the street, building with Lincoln Logs, coloring, and following Cole around like a little shadow.

From the moment he said his goodbyes to his friends and chaperones to come with us, he has seemed very comfortable, at ease and unafraid.  What a brave kiddo!!

Communication hasn't been too hard.  Lots of charades and some google translate.  Other than that, we seem to get our points across.  He's even picking up some English- and in only 4 days!  If you see him, ask him to sing Jingle Bells for you- it's his favorite!  :-)

Jet lag and the 12 hour time difference didn't seem to phase him.  He goes to bed around 8pm without so much as a peep, and sleeps until about 8am.  Thank you, LORD!!!  He shares a room with Cole, and I think he finds some comfort with him there.  The peppermint, chewable melatonin probably doesn't hurt, either!  ;-)

The kids adore him, and he definitely adores them.  He has taken quite a shine to Chris, too, and calls him "Baba" or "Bobby".  Very sweet.
So, all in all, we really feel like we hit the jackpot with this little guy!  No car sickness (very common with host kids from China), not afraid of the dog (also common for kids from China), and he's super smart, silly and hilarious. 

As far as the "Elephant in the Room" that my post title eludes to...that elephant is the A word.  Adoption.  I love, love, love posting funny little things he does, or cute pictures to Facebook, and I love how much you're loving them!  There has, however, been a lot of "I just know you'll adopt him", and "He looks perfect with your family!" (that's true.  wink), and "Come on...you just have to keep him!"
Well, here is where we stand as of right now...  Chris has said from the beginning of our hosting conversations that started months ago, that he only wanted to advocate for our host child.  Was/is he petrified that I'll want to adopt?  Yes, pretty much.  I've always had a heart for adoption, but it is a huge, HUGE decision and not one to be taken lightly.  Often times in the world of orphan care, the wife is the gas and the husband is the brakes.  We women tend to be maternal feelers who weep at the thought of a motherless child.  Especially one as young and adorbs as JQ, right?!  But the bottom line is, if this is something that God is calling us to do, He will make it clear to both of us.  Unless and until that happens, we will advocate for him.  Our hope and prayer is that while he is here (he returns to China on 1/15), he WILL be matched to a forever family.  It is probable that that family is not us. 

We have and will continue to do everything in our power to get the word out about JiaQing.  His professional photos were already sent to the "powers that be", and I've been asked to write a little blurb/bio about him that can go with the photos, on the adoption sites that he's shown on.  Of course I have mixed emotions-  I adore him, and selfishly want him all to myself!  But, because I adore him, I want to find a family for him.  Unless God says in no uncertain terms, "It's YOU, dummy!", then advocate we shall.  THAT is our job as his host family; to advocate for him, love him, show him what a family is all about, and give him some amazing memories.  Oh, and introduce him to Chickfila.  Check.

Finding Jia's Forever Family

One thing that I've really appreciated about Project 143, is that they are passionate about finding these host kiddos homes.  FOREVER homes.  I've said many times, while trying to recruit other host families, that even if adopting isn't on your radar, THAT'S OKAY!  Hosting is still so beneficial to an orphan. 

Cut and pasted from P143's website:
"Most orphans have never experienced a functional, family environment and will likely repeat the same cycle unless they are exposed to a new model. It’s impossible to hope for different outcome if you have nothing new to model. Living in a family for even 4 - 8 weeks can be life changing.  A home where the host parents are dependable and present in the lives of the children highlights the proper role of parents. Living with a family demonstrates proper relationships with siblings and extended family members.
Additionally, to orphans, the idea that they are being chosen to visit America is a huge boost to their self-esteem and self-worth since, they are often poorly regarded in their society. Participating in hosting activities and taking trips with the host family makes great memories for orphans who have few to none. Another benefit for international host children is developing better English fluency. Finally, hosting provides a critical opportunity for orphans hoping for permanent adoptive families."

Although I do stand behind what I've said about "just" hosting being enough, my prayer and hope for Jia is that this hosting experience WILL connect him to a family that will adopt him.   Kids that are over the age of 6, are part of a sibling group, or who have special needs have an almost zero percent chance of being adopted.  That's why I am so passionate about hosting.  There are millions upon millions upon MILLIONS of orphans.  The number is so high that we can't wrap our minds around it.  But a child you touch and see?  Talk to?  Share a meal with?  Open gifts with on Christmas morning in your jammies?  They are pretty hard to ignore!  :-)  Hosting is an awesome way for a child who falls into one or more of the above categories to find a family.

So...I'm going to advocate for Jia like it's my job (which it pretty much is as his host mama!)

Here is what I can tell you about Jia so far:
- He's 7 years old

- He's available for adoption

-He has no known siblings

-He has deformities in his fingers (see photos) and one of his toes sticks way out to the side

- He is not allowed to go to public school because of his hands, and he takes classes at the orphanage

-He likes to draw and sing and cook

-CCAI will, if they haven't already, place Jia on their waiting child page for more advocacy

 

This guy.  Don't you just love that smile??



I'm sure he's been made to feel "less than" because of his hands.  Is there a forever family out
there to show him how loved and valuable and precious he is?

No words for this one!

Of course, once he is actually here and we get to know him, I'll have a lot more to share with you!!  I'll probably post so many pictures and videos that you'll consider de-friending me on Facebook.  (don't you dare!)

These are China's requirements for adoptive parents:

- Age 30-55

-married at least 2 years

-Net worth of $80, and 10K per household member

-No criminal history

-No MAJOR medical issues

-BMI under 40

-No current drug use (even recent drug use is a no-no)

-Adopting from China costs about $25,000-$27,000 and requires one trip to China

The entire adoption process will take about one year

 

So, there you have it!  If you or someone you know is down with the above info and would like to spend some time with Jia while he's here, please let me know!  We'll make it happen!  I do personally know of a host child who was adopted by friends of her host family.  It happens!

 

 

If you are the praying type, please start praying for this sweet sugar plum.  Pray that his forever family "hears the call" so to speak, and acts on it.    Pray for his adorable little self as he will soon be taking the trip of a lifetime.  Pray for peace for him, and a spirit of courage and not fear.  Pray that he knows from the moment he sees us at the airport that we're "his people."  We'll protect him and love him and he can trust us.  (please imagine being 7 years old, stepping off a plane, and just going away with some random strangers that look weird and don't understand a word you're saying, and vice versa.  Talk about BRAVE.  It boggles my mind.) 

 

Sorry this is so long, but it's important.  It's his LIFE. 

XO,

Tracy

 

 

 

 

TOGETHER, for Jia!

It's time to resurrect the ol' hosting blog!  As you all know, we are hosting an orphan again this Christmas, but it will be different from our hosting experience in 2012  We are going with a different agency called  Project 143, we are hosting a 7 year old boy (vs. a 15 year old girl) and we are hosting from China vs. Ukraine!  We are really excited, the funds have been raised, the domestic flights have been booked, the training is complete, and now...we wait for December 16th!

I just have to give the biggest shout out to God.  He has done GREAT things through some awesome people.  To start with, as mentioned above, the hosting fees (3K) and the plane tickets (2K) have all been covered.  We are STILL in awe, and are so grateful to the 33 people who financially made this possible. 

But, it doesn't stop there!!!  Like I have mentioned before:  Orphan care has many faces!  We were told by our hosting coordinator that professional photos are CRUCIAL.  Cut and pasted from one of her emails:
"-Get really great photos! I cannot stress this enough, I really, really can't. Photos CHANGE a child's future. A child with amazing photos will be chosen over a child with old, out of date or unflattering photos. I personally always prioritize some hosting time spent on capturing great photos. I'd almost prioritize this over dental work! An interested family isn't going to ask about cavities, but they are going to look at the child's photos."

I put out the need, and boom.  My precious friend Kim, who just happens to be a professional photographer (and adopted herself!) is on it. 

The same pediatric dentist who treated Alyona is going to treat Jia, pro bono. 

My friend Vickie, who is insanely talented and crafty is making him a Christmas stocking to match the ones our kiddos have.  She did the same for Alyona.

Kristen is knitting him a winter hat, because it's what she loves to do.

Our friends Jon and Tama are picking us up from O'Hare, putting us up for the night in their home, and then returning us to the airport the next day.  Then, they'll do it all again when we return him in January.

A generous friend owns a restaurant and said, "Bring that boy in, and dinner's on me!"

Jia speaks Mandarin.  We don't.  Along comes Emma, ready and willing to translate for us.  (phew!)

My point is this: TOGETHER, we are giving Jia hope!!! 

My "camera equipment" is my iPhone. 

I can't clean Jia's teeth or fill his cavities. 

I can't sew or knit. 

We couldn't afford $5,000 for the hosting fees and domestic travel (not to mention a Chicago hotel) 

Cooking the first couple of days he's here?  Not gonna happen.

Our Mandarin is a little rusty (haha), but we'll need to speak to our boy.

What our family DOES have is a willingness to do the paperwork, the training, the traveling, and the loving.  We can't wait to show him, for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE what it looks like and feels like to be part of a family.  We are so ready to love on him with reckless abandon, knowing there will be challenges, but ready just the same. 

Do you see how this is a TEAM EFFORT??  A foot doesn't do what an ear does, and an eye doesn't do what an elbow does.  But together??  We make a body that works so perfectly together!  TOGETHER for Jia!!