When We Love the Least of These

(Aunt Karen- notice Cole's shirt)

Well, today we said goodbye to our host son, Han.  It was our 4th host child goodbye, and each one has been so different!! 

The day started with Han up at o-dark-thirty.  He had been checking days off the calendar, just waiting to go back to China, and I believe his countdown started the first day he was here!  Poor little Han missed China and what was familiar, but also felt like he should be home, taking care of his elderly foster parents.  That's a hefty burden for a 12 year old to feel.  (Han is the first homesick host child we've had, and that I KNOW OF.  It's not the norm!)

Thankfully, after about a week of sulking and frowning, he finally started to relax and just let himself enjoy being here...and being a KID!  (I think seeing his two friends from China enjoying their time helped, too.  13 year old Andy came right out and told him to "get a grip and enjoy!" (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist!)  Andy also told him to stop calling us "Mother" and "Father", but that didn't happen.  Ha! 

Although he certainly got happier as time went on, it was clear that he was still so ready to go back to China.  If we hadn't driven him, he probably would have walked to the airport himself!

That's why the emotions that spilled out of him really surprised us! 


wiping tears with his shirt

Saying goodbye to Cole...

Saying goodbye to Reid...

this was a nice hug, I was just a bit late with my camera!

 

Big hugs for "Father"...

Group shot of the 4 boys, and little 5 year old "Mia" in host mom's arms...

looking a bit unsure.  Isn't it sweet how they hold hands??

Han was very excited to ride on the airplane again, although he was saying the flight was "too long."  Indeed!

Now we are home, and I've stripped his bed and I'm catching up on laundry.  The first couple of days adjusting to our new/old normal are always a little strange.  It will be weird going to church without him tomorrow.

I'm so glad that Han is happy in China and seems to love his foster family.  Han is 12, though, and his window to find a forever family is getting smaller.  He DOES need a forever family, and I will continue to advocate for Han.  I certainly don't consider this hosting experience a "failure" because we put him on the plane without an adoptive family identified for him.  He had fun, learned a ton of English, took the trip of a lifetime, made new friends, and got to just be a kid.  He was loved and cared for by parents and siblings, and that's a pretty awesome thing!

A few months ago, after hearing that we were going to host again, my friend's 2nd grade daughter asked, "Are you addicted to hosting??"  I thought that was pretty funny.  I told her that "yes...I think that I am!" 

Hosting an orphan is not always easy, but honestly, it's not that difficult, either!!  Can you fundraise (or not) to pay the hosting fees?  Can you put a child up in your home for a few weeks?  Feed them?  Teach them how to give and receive a hug? (literally- they don't know how to do it.)  Give them some fun American experiences?  Post about them on Facebook?  Of course you can!!!  You totally can!

I know I'm a broken record with this statement, but I'm going for it again!

A FEW WEEKS OF YOUR FAMILY'S SACRIFICIAL LOVE COULD

CHANGE AN ORPHAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

 

 

 

It's worth it, right??  "My name is Tracy, and I'm an orphan hosting addict."

 

In all seriousness, I have a goal for next summer.  My goal is to host with NINE other families.  Ten total.  We can do it!  Is this something that is even slightly interesting to you?  Could you answer "yes" to my above questions?  Please consider joining us on another orphan hosting adventure!  If you're not able or ready, consider supporting a host family, either financially or emotionally.  Hosting is a team effort!

 

I'll leave you with this song.  It's one of my favorites, and these lines really hit home:

 

Break our hearts once again
Help us to remember when
We were only children hoping for a friend
Won't you look around
These are the lives that the world has forgotten
Waiting for doors of our hearts and our homes to open  

 

 

 Click here for the entire song





"I happy! I hungry! I from China!"

It's been a while since I've blogged, so this will be chock full of info and pictures!  :-)

Let's see...I guess I'll start with Saturday...

We had plans to drive up to Northern Virginia for my father in law's 80th surprise birthday party/ family reunion.  Originally, Han was supposed to be back in China by then, but with the drastic change in hosting dates, we ended up bringing him along.  I must say, he was a trooper!
I took this selfie of the two of us right before we left.  His ability to take a decent picture has greatly improved!!! 

 

 

It was a two hour drive and it was HOT.  The A/C in the van was working at about 10%, so we were cooking.  Here he is, enjoying his travels, despite the heat!



When we arrived in NOVA, we made a quick stop at Costco to pick up some things for the dinner.  Here he is, dutifully holding the cart:

 

We arrived at the surprise party around 5:45, and stayed pretty late.  He did amazingly well, and my sister and brother in law were so chill about him roaming their home and inspecting almost every part of it.  *Side note: host kids are often very inquisitive, and don't get the idea of "personal space".  If they want to know what's in that drawer, closet, medicine cabinet, room, etc., then by George, they'll find out!

We ate a Mexican feast, followed by several different desserts, and he was loving it!

Every family member introduction was met with "I from China!"  (as if they didn't know.  wink.)

 

We stayed in a hotel in NOVA both Saturday and Sunday night.  That was...interesting.  Chris drew the short straw and had to share a bed with Han.  Han had Mexican.  Let your mind wander.

Chris gets the gold medal!

 

Han (and our 3) LOVED the hotel breakfast buffet.  Each morning we were greeted with "I hungry!" Here's a picture of Han's plate.  I think it's safe to say that he likes bacon.  Watching him try to eat it with a fork was entertaining.

 

 

Sunday morning we all attended church together (16 of us in all), and he was a rock star.  For not understanding a word, and church in general being totally new to him, he loves it!  He sits quietly for the sermon, and tries to sing the songs.  He just kind of makes random humming noises, but A+ for effort!! 
After church we went to my inlaws' house with the rest of the Scoggins gang.  I took this picture of the kiddos before they changed into play clothes:

We had lunch, listened to my insanely talented niece and nephew play the piano and cello, and just hung out.  He played with some toys they had, and did a lot of wandering around the house. 
It was hot as blazes, so we decided to hit he pool.  The water was pretty warm, but he really enjoyed it, nonetheless!

 

We headed home Monday afternoon, and took several family photos, since we aren't all together very often.  Of course, we added Han to a few of them!  Here he is with all of the cousins.  So cute!

 

 

 

That night his little buddy from China came over for dinner, along with my host mama friend.  They talked a mile a minute and LOVED seeing each other!

 

this picture cracks me up!

 

Last night we took Han for his first trip to Sweet Frog, thanks to a generous friend who blessed us with a gift card.  He's pretty cute, don't you think??

 

 

Fast forward to today.  Chris took the day off so we could take Han to Virginia Beach. My guess is that he had never seen the ocean, so we were pretty stoked to scratch that one off the list for him. 

 

He did really well on yet another 2 hour car ride (and thanks to some Freon, the van was much cooler!)  We arrived a bit before noon, and were happy to see that the waves weren't too high.  Since Han can't swim, I was a little worried about his intro to the big, bad ocean.  The four kids rode boogie boards into shore and were having a great time.  Not a cloud in the sky, and all was right with the world...or so we thought...

 

catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!

Han is getting very tan!



 

A coworker told me about an obstacle course on the beach, and Reid and Loren were dying to check it out.  It was a little farther down the beach than I thought, but we found it about 7 blocks down, while Chris stayed back with Cole and Han.

 

 

I was watching the kids climb, helping them reach rings, and taking pictures.  Loren was climbing something and when she landed, she said, very casually, I cut my toe on a piece of metal.  I didn't think much of it, until I saw blood in the sand.  NOOOOOOOOOO.

 

I carried her to the boardwalk where we found a rinsing off shower.  She put her foot under the water and I realized we had left a trail of blood.  She hadn't shed a tear, so I was remaining fairly calm.  I found someone to give her some medical attention.  She cleaned it the best she could, put a bandage on it, and then I carried her the 7 blocks back to our chairs.  It was about 100 degrees, so that was fun.  So, after a two hour ride, and a whopping hour at the beach, Loren couldn't put her foot in the sand or the water.  UGHHHHH.  Here she is, watching the boys boogie board.  She wasn't a happy camper.  The bleeding had stopped and she didn't appear to be in much pain, so we decided to just hang out a while longer.

 

 

About 30 minutes later, we started feeling rain drops.  Then came the thunder and the lightening.  What happened to our clear blue skies!?!  We had to leave the beach.  Since we had to carry Loren, and we hoped the storm would pass quickly, we just took our valuables and towels and waited at the boardwalk, leaving our chairs, umbrellas, boogie boards, cooler, etc, on the beach.

Waiting for the ok to get back on the beach.  Sadly, it never came.  Blah!!!

the wounded warrior.

 

 

We waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Finally, we decided to cut our losses and just head home.  We stopped for dinner at IHOP in Williamsburg, where Han enjoyed a burger and fries, and I had an awesome omelet!

 

Upon arriving home, I bathed Loren, keeping her toe dry, and then Chris took her to Patient First.

 

  



No stitches required, but I can assure you, having it cleaned was no fun for poor Loren.   Well, our beach day was a bust! 

Everyone showered,  got pajamas on, and started watching the Olympics. I was down in the office getting ready to blog, and I could hear Han and Chris using the translator.  A lot.  I went up to make sure everything was ok (this was about an hour ago), and Chris showed me the thread.  "I happy."  "Hotel, Family, Happy."  "China, 3 days, I'm Happy at American camp." "Family, happy happy."

So, Han is happy here, and will be happy to go back to China, as well.  He's excited to go back on an airplane, and he is anxious to go shopping for some gifts to take back (very sweet.)  Hasn't he come a LONG way in 3 weeks???  Remember that sullen, sad, frowning little boy from week one?  I haven't seen him since.  The love of a family, the time to build some trust, and a few days to get over one's jet lag, can make all the difference!

As of right now, Han still doesn't have a family pursuing him for adoption.  I am disappointed, but his Facebook post (the "please share" post) has been shared 220 times.  THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I have advocated for him on other pages.  I can say with confidence that I've done everything that I know to do.  I've told other host families in the past not to worry or beat themselves up if their host child went back  without a forever family in place.  Our job as host parents is to advocate to the best of our ability, love the child as our own, and that's it.  Now, I need to hear those words for myself.  Maybe God's plan IS for him to remain in China.  Maybe other host families will come forward because they've seen us host (and survive!) 4 times in a row, and it gives them the confidence to take a leap.  Maybe a family will come forward later (like in JQ's case.)  I just don't know.

At a minimum, Han has had fun.  Han is happy.  Han has learned a TON and I'm so very proud of him.   We are going to enjoy our last 2 days with him, and he will get on that plane Saturday morning knowing that somebody in America loves him. 

"China!"

I am happy to report that Han has had a much better week.  He doesn't ask us anymore when he will go back to China (his first week here, he asked multiple time a day), and he is starting to relax.  Yay!

He is rolling with our family's routine, and is remembering to flush the toilet, put the lid down, wash hands, etc, more each day.
The shadowing us is definitely still there, but it is much better.  Now when he does that and I ask him to go find something fun to do, he is gone a lot longer (rather than 45 seconds to a minute.)  Progress!!
He is picking up some English, and his favorite English phrase is, "I hungry!"  I swear, I do feed the child.  I'm not sure where he puts it, but I'm happy to try and get some meat on those bones of his!

Tuesday was the day I had been waiting for...his first baseball game!  He was so excited at the thought of it, but the reality was boring for him, I think.  The game hadn't even started yet, and he was asking when we were going home.  Oh buddy, let me teach you about nine innings...

He liked the curly fries!

We were lucky enough to get pictures with the Flying Squirrels mascots!

"So...what are you guys supposed to be?"

On Wednesday, we enjoyed some time at the lake, which he seemed to enjoy.  The swimming section of the lake is very shallow, so I didn't have to worry.  He liked playing in the sand and floating with the hot pink tube!

 

 

 

Yesterday I had to run some errands at the mall, that were anything but exciting, and he was such a trooper.  Here he is entertaining himself at the Apple store, while I dealt with Reid's broken iPad.

 

 

He's a funny little guy, in that the FIRST thing he asks me every morning is, "Where are we going?" I'll be standing there in my pajamas, and he simply must have that information! He loves to be out and about...until he doesn't.  He doesn't misbehave at all, but he just starts asking when we are going home, not long after we arrive at the place he was so excited to get to (the baseball game, the lake, etc.)  The irony is, when we are home, he can't wait to go somewhere!  Ha!

 

Last night we took him to track club.  Wasn't sure how that would go over, but he loved it!  He just joined right in and even ran the track.  I was so proud of him!  Cole gave him the 3rd place ribbon that he had earned.  I just love that boy's heart so much. 

 

Enjoying some watermelon afterwards with Mrs. Jarvis!



After track club, we went to Sonic for half price shakes.  Han was SO grateful.  Just loved it.
we are clearly still working on how to pose for a picture!!

 

This morning I needed to do some grocery shopping, and he wanted to come with me.  He loves to push the cart!  He was so funny, in that every time I put an item in the cart, he would say, "Oh, sank you, muzzer!"  Tin foil?  "Oh, sank you, muzzer!"  Dental floss? "Oh, sank you, muzzer!"  Detangler for Loren's hair?  "Oh, sank you, muzzer!"  I was cracking up!!

 

The other thing he does that is hilarious, is that when a stranger talks to him, he just says, "China!"  We were at the shoe store yesterday, and the clerk asked him, "how are you today?" 

"China!"

When I introduce him to a friend, he says, "China!"

I was picking up a birthday cake today, and the lady asked him if it was his birthday.  His reply?  You guessed it..."China!"

 

I guess that's his way of saying, "I don't speak English."  Maybe we should work on that phrase!?!

This morning he tried to sing happy birthday to Cole in English.  He did really well!  Not sure where he learned that??

 

He really is just a grateful little guy, and it's so endearing.  He has told me twice now, just out of the clear blue sky, "I love you, Mother."  He is sloooooowly warming up to hugs, but he is still generally uncomfortable with affection (and he still despises tickling!)

 

He has come so far in the two weeks he's been here, that I just know he would thrive in a permanent, loving family.  Thank you so much for sharing about Han.  He flies back to China in 8 days, and I'm tempted to despair that a family has not come forward to pursue him for adoption.  I was reminded by another host mom this morning that it is God who writes the story, and not Tracy.  All I can do is my best to advocate for him, and leave the results up to the Lord.  At a minimum, Han is having the vacation of a lifetime and he is basking in the love of a family.  He's trying new things, making new friends, and blessing our socks off in the process. 



 

 



Day 9, Life with Han

 

Life with Han...oh, where to begin???  Han is teaching us a lot about patience.  He is funny, but not on purpose.  :-)

The biggest challenge we've had, is that Han doesn't really want to be here.  He wants to be with his foster mother in China.  Apparently, she is older (we've heard she's in her 70s) and he feels like "he should be there taking care of her because she's old and she needs him" (that is what he told the hosting director on a phone call.)  This is good and bad, I suppose.  Good, in that he seems to be happy with his life in China.  He obviously has a bond with his foster mother, which is wonderful.  What's not so good, is that Han struggles to just be a kid and have fun.  He's very serious.  If we ask him point blank if he is happy here, he says yes, but his actions say otherwise.  He certainly doesn't act like he's miserable or suffering or anything, but he asks us literally 5 times a day when he is going back to China.  Not so fun.

We've been able to see quite a bit of the other two boys being hosted in the Richmond area.  Here is a picture to remind you of who I'm talking about:

Andy, 13- "JH", 7- Han, 12

 

Sweet Andy is loving his time with his host family and has embraced American life with every fiber of his being (he told us the day that photo was taken that he does NOT want to go back to China!)  He has been so great for Han, pouring on the tough love when needed.  He tells Han to enjoy his time, enjoy his American family, make the most of his time here, etc.  He literally face times him almost every night to give him a pep talk.  Bless.

JH is also absolutely thriving and full of life and laughter.  Han really enjoys talking to him.
 I confess that there are moments when I'm a bit jealous.  I know that sounds horrible, but I'm just being honest.  This is the place for honesty, right?!?  I know God purposely put Han with us, so onward we go... 

Friday, Andy's host mama (aka my friend, Kristy) invited us over to use the inflatable water slide.  Andy loved showing Han his house, the dogs, his room, etc.  Very sweet.  I was so happy to have something fun to do with the kids! 

Kristy and I are trying hard to put some meat on those bones of theirs!!

Mr. Silly and Mr. Serious.  This picture says it all!

Han has a very hard time entertaining himself, and our kids have a difficult time relating to him.  So, that pretty much leaves Han following me around.  It's sweet that he wants to be with me and all, but he has no regard for personal space.  He'll stand so close to me when I'm cooking or doing the dishes, that I can feel his breath.  I have to lock the doors if I'm changing or using the bathroom, because please believe he will come right on in.  In the morning, he paces in front of our bedroom door, waiting for me to get up.  True confessions:  sometimes I fake sleeping.  If he sees my eyes open, he gets next to me on the bed and starts talking with his morning breath, as if I understand a word he's saying. Yikes.  And did I mention he's gassy?  All the time.  I hope you're laughing, because this whole thing is just hilarious!!! 

He calls us "mother" and "father".  When we were at Kristy's, every time he called me "mother", Andy would just crack up.  "Call her MOM!" he would say.  LOL

He's very obedient, and if I ask him to do something, he'll respond with "Yes, mother."  If I give him something, he says, "thank you, mother."  When I thank him for something, he says, "You are welcome, mother."  When he toots and I make a face and point for him to go away, he says, "Sorry, mother."  It's actually more like "muzzer."  Oh. My. Word.  I'm dying laughing as I type this!!!

 

Tonight he completed this puzzle, and he was very proud and excited to show me (can't you tell?  HA!)  He struggles with puzzles, but they do keep him busy.  (Thanks for the loan, Allie W!)

 

He's also enjoying this train stuff, on loan from Angie:

 

 

 

Han seems to have some delays, which weren't mentioned in his bio.  He has a very hard time retaining info.  He will ask the same question over and over and over again.  I'm glad that Han is happy in China, but he really needs a forever family.  I'm not sure how much longer his foster mom will be able to care for him, and I just can't picture him out on his own in two years.  He really is sweet, and he deserves a family.  He might be a "tougher sell" than JQ or Ji Nuo (the child who was happy 24/7), but that doesn't change the fact that he needs parents.  Please pray with me that the right people will step forward at the right time, and that we will be good advocates for him.  Please pray for our kids, that they would be kind and patient with Han.

Thanks to those of you who have loved him and loved us.  We really appreciate it!!!

 



Hosting Changes Lives.

As I've mentioned before, this is our 4th time hosting an orphan.  The first time was with a teenage girl from Ukraine.  Our kids were 5, 7 and 9 at the time, so I'm not totally sure what we were thinking!?!  Hosting her was a great experience for all of us (mostly!) and she loved every moment of her time in America.  However, the child who really rocked our world, the one who changed our lives, the one who stole our hearts (and yours), and the one who kept us on the hosting path was JQ. 

When we put him back on the plane to China in January of 2015, we honestly weren't sure if we would ever see him again.  It was so painful.

 

Were we meant to adopt him?  We loved him so much (SO MUCH) but just didn't feel like that was the direction we were supposed to go.  March 2015, enter the Brannagan family.  I remember the phone call from them like it was yesterday.  They got our number from CCAI and called to hear all about him;  and oh my, did they get an earful!  I remember saying, "I know it doesn't seem possible that he is as awesome as I'm describing, but he is.  He truly is."  I forwarded them countless pictures and videos, and just prayed.
The very next day, they submitted their letter of intent, and by September, he was home with them in Nebraska.  An orphan no more.

Although Nebraska is sure closer than China, it's not exactly right next door.  I was so thankful for Facebook and updates from his mama, but still wondered if we would ever see him again in person.  Well, it happened, people- and it was incredible.

 Cole and JQ, December 2014

JQ and Cole August 2016

 

First of all, how cray-cray was it to be talking to him...in ENGLISH!!!  No google translate needed!  He was SO excited to show his family where he slept, where Dory's crate was, etc.  He thought he was pretty hot stuff!  Having him in our living room again, asking Chris to wrestle with him, was indescribable.  Just pure happiness.  My parents came over and he gave them big hugs and said, "Hi Nana and Papa!"

After chatting for a while, we took his family to "JQ's Chickfila."  He asked, "Can I ride in your van?"  Melt. 

 

Reid was very sensitive to Han, who was probably somewhat confused by everything.  ("What's up with all of these Chinese kids who don't understand a word I'm saying?")
We didn't tell him how we knew JQ (his head might have exploded)- we just said that they were our friends visiting from far away.  We were sure to get some pictures with him, too.  :-)

Poor Han.  He is just not the most photogenic child!

 

After an amazing night catching up with JQ and getting to know his family, the fun continued the next day!  We rode the train at Short Pump Town Center and just walked around.  It was a hit!

 

 

After that, we headed to the pool, and the Perry gang joined us with their host son (who is ADORBS)

Han had a lot of fun (I think?) swimming and chatting with his buddy from China.  I say "I think" because he is just not a very smiley little guy.  He is very serious and sullen, and seems to be quite homesick for China, but I digress...

 

 

Hanging out with JQ's family just felt as natural as can be.  They are WONDERFUL.  His 3 siblings are so precious and kind and cute. 

If you don't love this picture, then there is no hope for you!

 

 

Side note: When we were at the mall, Caleb (the one with the blue towel) said to me, "Your family is so nice.  I'm glad JQ got to live with you first."

What 9 year old says something so dear?!?!  I think they should adopt like 10 more kids.  They are SO nailing this parenting thing. 

JQ said that he thought Meg and I look alike, and said that we are "both so pretty."  OK, seriously kids...do you want a pony?  BECAUSE I'LL BUY YOU A PONY!

 

 

 

We talked at the pool for hours, that went by like minutes.  When everyone was properly sunned and funned, we returned to our house and kept the party going until the kids were melting down from sheer exhaustion.  Meg and Russ and the kids felt like family to us from moment one.  And the more I thought about it, I realized that they ARE family to us, and we have hosting to thank for that.  When Russ told us Wednesday night that they wouldn't have considered adopting a 7 year old had JQ not been hosted, I fought back tears.  Can you even imagine if we had missed that opportunity?!?  Adopting an older child is scary, but hearing first hand that he thrived in our family, that he was independent and funny and smart, that he WANTED to be in America?  Well, that just made all of the difference!  It gave them the confidence to move forward.  We will always be a part of JQ's story, and that overwhelms me with gratitude. 

 

 

 

When it was time to say goodbye, JQ cried a lot.  His mom told him that it's because he loves us, and that's a good thing.  Oh my heart. 

 

Hosting gave us an extended family.  It gave JQ a forever family.  Hosting changed everything.

Won't you please consider giving it a try?