A Family for Yangcai

While we've been hosting Ji Nuo, our friends EJ and Ali have been hosting Yangcai.  I've enjoyed getting to know him, and watching his host family pour into him.  He is the oldest of the 3 Richmond kids, and he so badly wants a family. 

From host mama Ali:

His visit has been filled with pretty basic activities, but to him, a lot of FIRSTS and very exciting. We have decided one of our purposes in hosting is to give Yangcai opportunities to increase his confidence. There is little we can "give him" to take back with him, but building his confidence might encourage him to dream a little bigger. Their world is very tiny, ironic in a place as large at China. If he is on his own at 15, we want him dreaming big!

 

 

This kid loves to make us laugh even without words. I can't imagine how much of a jokester he'd be if we all spoke the same language. His English is increasing rapidly. He says the following in perfect context; hello, thank you, you're welcome, sorry, water, good-bye, buckle (for car), oh my gosh, uh oh, chicken, all our kids' names and he often mimics what we say as well. I on the other hand have learned 3 Chinese words :(

 

OK, me again!

Yangcai is a gem, and I feel so strongly that his family is out there somewhere, just looking for him.  Please oh please share this post.

Yangcai will be in Richmond, VA until Sunday afternoon. 

 

This and That

Just one week from today, we will be in a hotel near Dulles airport.  I'll be tucking JiNuo in for the last time.  It makes me sad, but we are going to enjoy each moment while he's still with us.  Have I mentioned how much he LOVES tuck-in time?  He shares a room with Cole, and he just lies in his bed BEAMING, waiting for that goodnight hug and smooch. Oh my, that's one of the things I'll miss the most.  Not sure how we lucked out with two really sweet and easy host children in a row, but I'll take it!!

We spent Friday night at Great Wolf Lodge.  He loved it, and surprised us with how much he was willing to try, considering he can't swim.  He went on the double person tube rides and just thought they were the best!  LOTS of stairs for him to climb, and he was certainly slow, but he did it multiple times to take on those waterslides.   What a rock star.  Proud host mama, right here.

 

 

 



 

A few times a week, he sees the other two boys that are also being hosted from China.  Hosting with friends is the bomb, and I would highly recommend it.  ;-)  All three boys have very different personalities, but at a minimum, it's  nice having someone you can actually talk to without the iPhone translating app!
Last week Ali and I took them to Crump Park.  It was a gorgeous day and they loved seeing the animals, using the playground, and feeding the ducks! 

 

 

They also had their first lesson about Easter!  They learned about Jesus, they colored eggs, and did an egg hunt.  So, so sweet.



could he be cuter?!?

 

He keeps us laughing, usually without trying.  I hear the same 3 phrases about 452 times a day:

 

1. "Ayi iPad?"  (Ayi means "auntie", and it's what he calls me)

2. "Ayi  Ultraman?"  (off the charts cheesy Japanese show.  Don't ask me how or why we own a DVD)

3. "Where are we going?"  (that is the only Mandarin phrase I've got down pat)

 

 

He also has the funniest mannerisms and habits.  He's the loudest, open mouthed chewer in the history of mankind (although Ali might disagree with me).  When he has to use the bathroom, he squats down to tell me. 

 He has barged into my room many a time while I'm changing, and once even pulled back the shower curtain just to say "HELLO!"  I've had to start locking my bedroom door, so now he just jiggles the doorknob, knocks, and repeatedly asks, "Ayi??"  Personal space and boundaries?  What are those??

 

He can't manage the 4 stairs up to his bedroom without leaning on the wall for balance (there is no banister.)  When he gets out of the bubble bath (which he LOVES), he just drops his towel and makes his way upstairs.  His butt is approximately 6 inches wide, and his legs are toothpicks.  I crack up watching him every time. 

 

He still resists veggies and fruit, but dutifully eats them when we tell him that he must.  He's very obedient and wants so much to please us.  After he eats, he takes his plate and cup to the sink, and then usually comes back for mine, all on his own accord. 

He and our kiddos act like siblings (wrestling, getting on each others' nerves, etc.)  I think he will do great in a family.  He likes being on the go, and getting in the van to go somewhere.  Anywhere, really. 

 

 

 

Although the fact that he is a happy, HAPPY child has made these few weeks very easy on us,  we do have some slight concern that happy is the only emotion we've seen out of him.  We haven't seen mad, frustrated, afraid, sad, empathetic.  Nothing.  ONLY happy.   Maybe it's his coping mechanism?  Maybe he has those feelings but just doesn't express them?  I don't know.  Chris and I are prepared for him to show little to no emotion when it's time to say goodbye to us.  It's hard to tell if he's bonded with us.  He DOES show us (probably me, especially) a lot of affection, and he loves being with us; no doubt about that.   Friday night we went to IHOP for dinner.  I asked him what his favorite thing about being in America has been (figuring he would mention a fun activity or something), and he said, "For us all to be together."  It was really, really sweet. 

 

eating pizza at Costco, apparently, right next to the cartons of cigarettes.  We really know how to keep things classy!

too cool for school!
 

 

We are still advocating for him, as well as Ji Te and Yangcai.  If you are one of the many who shared the "Ohana" blog post, THANK YOU.  Please continue to share it.  Sending him/them home with a family pursuing them for adoption is our dream.  All three of them need a family to love them forever, and get them the medical care they need to improve their quality of life.  Each family will need patience to spare, and I just know they're out there somewhere.

 

Chris and I are going to continue to fight for Ji Nuo, for sure (remembering that JQ's family didn't come forward until 2 months after he left us).  Will you help us?  He's SO worth it.

 

 



 



 

 

 



 

 

 



 

 

 



 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 



Ohana

 

 

 

Can you imagine growing up in an orphanage?  Although I'm sure in most cases the nannies and staff love the children and do the very best they can, it's not the same as having a family of your very own.  Children need parents to cheer them on, love them, guide them, discipline them, tuck them in at night, kiss their boo boos, celebrate their achievements, be a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear when things get tough.  The three boys that I will highlight in this post want what every other child wants and deserves; they want to belong.  They want to be part of a family. 

 

Three host families took these boys into their homes for one month.  Why?  Well, honestly, a hosted orphan has a much, MUCH greater chance of being adopted than an orphan who is just a blurb and a dated photo on a website. 

 

David Platt said, "Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.  They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.  It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms.  But once you do, everything changes."

 

The boys will go back to China on March 14th.  Our greatest hope is that all three go back with a forever family pursuing them for adoption.  And that's where you come in.  WE NEED YOUR HELP.

 

Please share this post with anyone who might be even slightly interested in learning more about the boys.  We will be hosting a Chinese food luncheon THIS SUNDAY at noon, at West End Presbyterian Church, in Richmond, VA.  This will be an opportunity for anyone who wants to, to meet the boys, see them in action, ask questions about them, etc.  We will be advocating for them on different social media advocacy sites, too, but often times, word of mouth from a friend of a friend is just as effective!  To learn more about adopting from China, click here.

 

Yes, there are MILLIONS of orphans.  Millions upon millions.  We can't help them all, but we will do for one (or in this case, three) what we wish we could do for all. 

 

Now, meet the boys!  I'll go youngest to oldest...

 

This is Je Ti, and he is 8 years old.  Je Ti is deaf, and was fitted with a cochlear implant two years ago.  His language, as you would reason, is quite behind.  Je Ti is very smart, though, and very creative! 

He is energetic and loves to swim and ride a bike.  He's great at math, drawing, painting, and he's recently discovered Mickey Mouse and is quite a fan!  He's currently missing his two front teeth, so you'll know just what to get him for Christmas.  ha!

For more information about Je Ti, please contact his host mama, Heather, at heather.p.jarvis@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Now, meet Ji Nuo!

JiNuo just turned 10 years old, and the only time he's not smiling is when he's sleeping.  I'm not kidding!  He is just a happy, happy little guy.  We have been able to communicate with him using a translating app, and it's worked out well.  He can read and do basic math, and he claims that his favorite subject in school is Science.  His 3 English words are thank you, goodbye, and iPad!  JN has CP and he is pigeon toed.  When he walks, it looks like he's wearing invisible stilettos.  He doesn't have a lot of coordination or strength, and he would benefit so much from physical therapy and treatments of some type.  He walks, goes up and down stairs, and even runs- he won't be stopped!  He is very snuggly and affectionate.  He loves soy sauce, bath time, and being tucked in at night.  He goes to bed without a peep and sleeps through the night.  Jackpot!

To learn more about Ji Nuo, please email me at tracy.scoggins@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

Last but certainly not least, this is Yangcai! 

At 11 years old, his time is running out to find a family.  In China, once you turn 14, you are no longer eligible for adoption.

From host mom:  "Yangcai is a great kid who likes to engage people with his sense of humor. He has a lot of energy but can focus and be still when needed. He is very willing to try new things. He is easy going and has been happy to go along with our family's routines. He loves to make things with his hands in a constructive and mechanical way and likes to figure out how things work.

He has moderate hearing loss in the right ear, but it does not hinder him. He communicates well and is picking up English words easily.  His repaired cleft lip/palate do not seem to bother his speech and he prefers soft foods, noodles being his favorite.

He does not appear to have much confidence in school work and struggles and or quits when he can't do something well. He doesn't have many social skills but that is to be expected and will require patience and attention to help him "catch-up" 

 

To find out more about Yangcai, please email his host mama, Ali, at alifogarty@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

I'm so hopeful that the right people will read/share this post, and that these boys find their Ohana.

 







 

 



 

 

 



An Inch is a Mile.

I was hoping to blog a little sooner than this, but I'm finding that hosting while working is a whole lot different than hosting while everyone is home on Christmas vacation.  Phew!  I fall into bed completely spent every night, but in a good way.  :-)

If you haven't read about the night he arrived yet, you can do so
HERE

My friend Kim is a ROCKING storyteller and photographer, and you'll feel like you were there at the airport with us!  :-)

Things are going really well with our smiley guest- I can't believe he's been here 5 days!  He is a precious little treasure, for sure.

I was so worried about hosting again, after hosting my little crush, JQ (swoon.)
BUT...I am happy to report that the human heart is capable of making room to love another!  Who knew?!?

They are very different little boys, but equally special. 
Ji Nuo (I'll call him JN) is so eager to please.  He does anything I ask of him (short of eating broccoli), and I never have to ask twice.  If you haven't noticed in the photos, he smiles CONSTANTLY.  My friend Deanna asked, "Does he ever stop smiling?!?!??"  I told her no  (maybe when he sleeps?!?) 

Much like JQ, at first, he wasn't very open to affection, and hugging him was like hugging a board.  Now?  Oh my- every time he walks into a room he comes right over for his hug.  It doesn't take long for them to figure out, "hmmmm... I like this.  I think I've been missing out!"

JN has CP and is pigeon toed.  He is very weak.  He can only get up stairs if he pulls himself up with the banister, or just crawls.  His upper body is very weak, too.  He can't lift a gallon of milk, or close the van door by himself.  His balance isn't good, and his coordination is even worse.  Bless.  Today Reid asked him if he wanted to play catch, and he replied, "No.  I am not good."  Ugh.  I told him that was ok, and that Reid would be very patient, but I think he is self-conscious.  We will definitely work on that, and celebrate the small victories!

He seems much younger than he is (just turned 10 on the 8th), but boy oh boy is he sweet.  And brave.  Wow.  these kids utterly amaze me.

He had a checkup at the dentist today, and he was SO GOOD.  He was nervous and maybe a little scared at a couple of points (the X-rays, mostly), but he listened to me and trusted that this was all for his good, and he did it!  AND...no cavities!!!  WOW!!!



the panoramic X-ray machine really freaked him out.  What a trooper!

Dr. Chris, checkin' out the chompers,

Done, and super proud of himself!

Before the dentist, my dad and I took him out to lunch at this little hole in the wall Chinese place called Wok and Roll.  (LOL) We were the only ones there, and the staff was falling all over him.  He was chatting away with one of the employees, and she said, "He just told me that he likes being with your family."  I said, "He does?  What does he like about it?"  His reply?  "Everything!" 
OK...my point here is this:  we have done NOTHING SPECIAL.  I took him to Costco.  I took him to Chickfila.  He has lightsaber battles with the kids.  We play Zingo.  We hug him and tuck him into bed at night.  We eat meals as a family.  He plays on the iPad.  We play outside.  We went to church.
I feel like we've barely done anything (an inch), but to him?  It's EVERYTHING (a mile)

If you've EVER considered hosting an orphan, but felt like you couldn't offer them much...please reconsider.  What you offer will be SO MUCH to them.  It will be more than enough.

We do have some fun things planned (we need to make sure he has some fun stories to tell when he returns to China!), but it will just be icing on the cake.  He is happy and content just being in a family. 

I'll close with this picture, taken at dinner.  (yes, I know- I shouldn't be snapping pics when we are praying, but I couldn't help myself!!)

Here We Go Again!

Time to blow the dust off the ol' blog...the Scoggins family is getting ready to host again! 

One week from today, we will be picking up little Ji Nuo from Dulles airport.  I wonder several times a day what's going through his head, as the day of his departure draws near.  All of the anticipation, excitement, fear of the unknown...can you even imagine??  He's been given a photo album filled with pictures of our family, and a letter of introduction, translated into Mandarin.  Other than that, he is stepping out into the great unknown.  These kids are so brave.  SO. BRAVE.

 

Ji Nuo turns 10 years old on Monday February 8th.  When he's here, Chris and I will have a 9 year old, a 10 year old, an 11 year old, and a 12 year old.  Bring on the crazy!

 

Two very dear Richmond friends are hosting with us, which has really upped the excitement factor! It will be so nice for the boys to have each other to see and talk to in Mandarin.   There will be lots of playdates over those four weeks!  (that will be for Ji Nuo's sake...and mine!)

Heather and Jon's host son, "Ben"

Ali and EJ's host son, "Jack"

 

 

This will look a bit different than our other two hosting experiences, in that I'm working at a preschool and I'm not allowed to bring Ji Nuo with me.  I have a sub once a week, but other than that, we have pieced together child care.  My friend Jennifer is keeping him 6 of the mornings, and I don't think I could bake enough chocolate chip cookies in a lifetime to repay her kindness!

 

And to the thirteen families that donated towards our hosting fees to even make this possible?  Well, there are just no words.  We might be his host family, but his "American Family" spans far and wide, as far as we're concerned.  It takes a village, each and every time.

 

To be brutally honest, we are all a little nervous about hosting again, after hosting JQ...

 

...not because we're worried about having our hearts broken again (the broken hearts have healed, and they were worth it.  He has a forever family that is AMAZING, and he is thriving!)  It's just that JQ made it so darn easy on us!!!  We were told to expect the kids to be jet lagged and off schedule for one day per hour of time difference.  That's 12 days.  JQ?  ONE DAY.
We were warned that they aren't used to western toilets and to expect some bathroom challenges.  Nope.  We were warned that they aren't used to driving around and to expect car sickness and/or dislike for the car.  JQ ate road trips for lunch!  He fell right into our family, from day one.  He ate anything we put in front of him.  He even got our family's sense of humor...and dished out his own funnies!  Seriously, we reeeeeeally lucked out with him.  Alyona was a teenager, so she was old enough to figure things out, and was easy in that way.  We really just don't know what to expect with Ji Nuo, and yes, it's scary!  So why the heck are we doing this again?  Why are we juggling schedules, paying a ton of money, inconveniencing ourselves and our children?  Well, it's simple.  Because we love Jesus.  That's it.  These orphans are God's kids, and He loves them madly, so, we better love them, too.  We are commanded in James 1:27 to "look after orphans in their distress", and that's what we're going to do. 

 

Please pray for us as we prepare for his arrival, and for the kids as they prepare to come.  They weren't born yesterday, and they know what this trip COULD mean for them.  Please pray that every last one of the children coming finds a forever family through their hosting experience. 

Every child deserves and longs for a loving family.

 

The next time I post on this blog...he'll be in my arms.  Stay tuned!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ridin' the Tea Cups

Although I do love all things Disney, there is a reason I leave riding the Tea Cups at Magic Kingdom to the kids..

(The girl on the right is our niece, WDW 2012)

Drops?  Love 'em.  Water rides?  Hand me my poncho!  Dark rides?  Bring it.  Speed?  YES PLEASE.  Whenever I ride something that spins, though, I want to die.  I don't like getting off a ride and feeling disoriented. 

These past couple of weeks, I've felt like my life is one big,  disorienting ride on the Tea Cups.  Honestly, I'm struggling.  Every time I see a picture of Jia Qing, or think about him, or laugh as the kids imitate him, or someone asks about him, it borders on painful. 
I wonder every single day if he is a Scoggins, and if we've completely missed the boat.  I mean... good grief, look at this picture!!!

 

As you may or may not have seen, a couple of weeks ago, a gal in Boise posted on my Facebook wall, that she and her family were adopting a precious 13 year old girl from JQ's orphanage (he lives with a foster family, but attends school at an orphanage).  She said that she had been following my blog since he came to live with us, and they were feeling led to adopt him, along with the girl. We were relieved and happy, but also...conflicted.  We told ourselves that it would be awesome for him to have a Chinese sibling, and parents that are about a decade younger than we are.  So...we waited.  This past Friday, the mom told me that they released his file.  Her husband felt like they needed to just focus on adopting their daughter, especially with her special needs.  If you're counting, that was the third family to pursue him, but not move forward to adopt him.  0 for 3.

 

The other day, before the file had been returned,  Chris was at basketball practice with Loren, and I read an article to the boys called The Truth About Older Child Adoption.  When I was through, I asked them how they felt, knowing adopting is a lot different than hosting.  It's FOREVER, and it's "real life" (unlike everyone being home on Christmas break, enjoying trips to Great Wolf Lodge and Sweet Frog).  Cole said "I still want to adopt him."  I asked him why, and he paused and said, "Because I love him."  Reid, always the comedian, quoted Mr. Peabody and Sherman with an "I have a deep regard for him as well."  Loren prays every night that we are his family. 

 

So, if you are a praying person, would you please pray for us?  And please, please, please pray for Jia Qing (along with the other kids that were hosted and are still waiting for a family).  One thing that we've absolutely learned about ourselves through all of this, is that we TRULY want the BEST for JQ.  And when you're having serious conversations about adoption, you NEVER feel like the best.  Like, seriously, I'm guessing there are, oh, 145,387 families that would be better for him than we are.  It's easy to convince yourself that an orphan would be better off with a family that doesn't yell.  Or is younger.  Or is older.  Or has more money.  Or lives in a bigger house.  Or has kids that obey the first time (is there such a thing?)  Or, or, or, or...

 

Chris and I both want what God wants.  Unfortunately, we aren't quite agreeing on what that is.  Good times!   It very well might be that an AMAZING family requests his file tomorrow and moves forward, or it might be that nobody does and he just goes on in foster care.  It might be that we are meant to advocate only (and there is certainly nothing wrong with that- there is a HUGE need for host families!), or maybe Jia is a Scoggins.  Chris and I are struggling to know what our role is in his life.  We need wisdom and discernment, and an extra measure of patience with each other as we muddle through this. I don't want to miss what God has because of fear or uncertainty. 

 

Who knows what I'm opening us up to by writing this post, but I KNOW there are so many friends out there who are wondering what the heck is going on.  I know I would be!!!

I'll leave you with this video.  I watch it on my phone almost every day.  It's one of my absolute favorites, because it shows what a hilarious little spaz JQ is.  He is saying "Chickfila Doug", because Doug works there and the two went hand in hand for him.  He puts on Loren's hot pink coat and says "Jia Qing!"  Oh my- he's funny, and loud, and wonderful.

 

 

 

Every time I hear this song, I am undone.  "Every child has a dream to belong and be loved."

Thanks for your prayers and support, and for loving our family no matter what happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 



One week later...

This guy:

 

 

 

It was one week ago today that we put this heartbreaker on a plane back to China.  As Bill Withers (or Lenny Kravitz, depending on which version you like) would say:  "Ain't no sunshine when she's (he's) gone."

I probably need to stop staring at his picture on our fireplace mantle or watching his You Tube video once or twice a day (there are currently 96 views.  I'm guessing 87 of them are mine...)

The kids imitate him constantly.  Oh my goodness- all 3 of them are dead ringers for JQ!  The hilarious things he did and said (or the things that were just downright precious) go on through Cole, Reid and Loren.  They miss him, too.

I'm so grateful for the pictures we've received from one of the chaperones.  Pictures of him with his foster parents and foster siblings, and pictures of him with friends from the orphanage.  Of course, he's smiling in every one.  SO happy and relieved that, at least as much as the pictures show, he is happy and not sad. 

I talked to one of the CCAI adoption coordinators yesterday, and got answers to a few of my questions...

first question:  Can he be re-hosted, either by us or someone else? 

answer:  no.  There are SO MANY ORPHANS in China, and Project 143's goal is to give as many kids an opportunity to be hosted as possible.  They will pull kids from a completely different region for summer hosting.  There are 10-ish orphans per 1 chaperone, so the kids do come in groups from specific areas.  Not just "one from here, one from there." 

second question:  Is there a family currently viewing his file?

answer:  no, there is not.  :-(

third question:  Can we keep in touch with him?

answer:  yes.  We are waiting for an address so we can mail him letters, pictures, etc.  Our contact at CCAI is also going to keep me posted on families requesting his file, more info, etc. 

We will absolutely continue to advocate not only for Jia Qing, but also for the other host children we met who are still waiting for their forever family to find them. 
If you look under Special Focus you will see not only JQ, but several of the other kids who were hosted and still waiting.  If there was an update in Dec or Jan, that is a good clue that you're looking at a child who was hosted, and his or her host family will be able to give you tons more info!

We will also continue to raise awareness about orphan hosting.  It's not always easy, but it is so worth it.  Those kids are so worth it!!  Our hosting coordinator was actually just in Latvia, interviewing kids for the summer hosting program.  Things are already in the works!  My work schedule will not allow us to host this summer, but Christmas 2015 is certainly on our radar!  Of course, I fear that JQ has ruined me for all other kids- ugh!!! 

I miss him.  WE miss him!  Honestly, there are times each and every day, when I second guess our decision to not pursue adopting him, even though there are probably a million reasons not to.  If we are not on the right path, I pray that mountains are moved on his behalf and ours. 
By the same token, if a different family is meant to adopt him, I hope and pray they step forward SOON, and my heart becomes more content with how things played out.  We want the best for him, and right now, only God knows what that is.  Psalm 68:5 says that He is a "father to the fatherless."  Thank you, Lord, for keeping his little heart so tender.  He is so special, and he is seen and known and loved!

Thank you for your prayers, inquiries, hugs, Facebook posts telling us how much you'll miss seeing JQ's pictures every day, etc.  We have awesome friends and family, FOR SURE.