Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy. We've done it many times, between hosting and our years doing interim care for Bethany Christian Services, but that doesn't make it any easier.  What I will say, is that I believe this is what God has called us to do, and He has equipped us to do it.  So many people have said over the years, "How can you let them go??"  "I could never do what you're doing- I would be too attached", etc.  Well, you could and you would, if that's what was being required of you.  We knew with each and every child that has passed through our doors, that a "goodbye" was coming.  Of course, this particular goodbye was a little tougher.  Ok, a lot tougher. 

I'm going to warn you right now, that this post is going to be difficult to read, and your heartstrings are going to stretch to capacity.  It's long, too.  Here's what our last few days looked like...

Monday night, we put everyone to bed around 8pm.  Bedtime had NEVER been an issue with JQ.  At almost 10pm, Cole came down, exasperated and in tears.  "He just won't go to sleep!  He keeps trying to get in my bed, get me to read to him, play with him, etc.  I'm TIRED!"  After questioning Cole as to why he waited TWO HOURS to tell us there was an issue, Chris went upstairs and told Jia that it was time to go to sleep, and that Cole needed rest for school the next day.  He obeyed at that point, and went to sleep. 

Tuesday when the kids were heading out to the bus stop, Jia cried.  He just didn't want them to go (you've seen his reaction when they come home!!)  I gently told him that they would be back in a few hours, and that everything would be ok.  He pulled himself together...until Chris left for work about 5 minutes later.  Then, it started all over again.  Chris hugged him and told him he would be back soon.  I remembered at 7am that I was supposed to bake cookies for a women's bible study I was attending at 9am (nice!), so I got busy on that.  I noticed it was quiet, so I went looking for JQ, and found him in our bed.  Those were the first signs that he knew and understood what was coming. 

We kept him busy and took him swimming.  His favorite activity ever!  We enjoyed meals together as a family, and made things as fun as we could for him.

 

All the while, we were counting down the days with him.  "In 3 days, you'll go on the airplane."  "In 2 days, you'll go on the airplane.  Will your friends recognize you without your front teeth?!"  He would nod his head and say "ok", and that he was happy to go back to China.  Even the day he left, I said, "In 2 hours, you will leave with us to go on an airplane, We'll stay in a hotel, and then you'll go back to China."  He understood and seemed fine with it...until he had to say goodbye to the kids.  God gifted us with our very first school cancellation that very day (thank you icy roads!), and our kids got to spend the morning with him.  It was great.  Our neighbors kept the kids while we were gone (they are THE BEST- thank you, Rick and Carolee!)

 

 

I can't say it better than my friend Heather Beam did.  I texted her a video the day we left, showing a very sad little guy, and this was her response:

"I keep going back to the truth that video demonstrates:  that sweet boy's heart is still tender.  miraculously, God has kept his heart from being hardened from the losses in his life.  I am in awe of how available he is emotionally.  He will attach beautifully to a family as soon as they snatch him up!"

 

Although it was painful, his response was right and good, and showed that he does indeed have a tender heart that knows how to love someone.  It's a gift!

 

After a few minutes, he settled down and we were on our way.  He was good as gold on the plane, and was excited to be flying again.  He does love airplanes! 

 

 We checked into our hotel in Chicago, we got some Panda Express to go, and had a picnic in the hotel lobby.  It was GREAT connecting with 4 other families, sharing our stories and watching our host kids play together and totally enjoy each other!

 

 

We didn't get to bed until after 11pm.  He slept in one bed, and Chris and I slept in the bed next to him.  The lights were off and we were all tucked in, when we heard, "I love you daddy.  I love you mommy."  Oh my heart. 

 

The next morning he kept checking the contents of his backpack; I think he was ready to just get the show on the road.  We had breakfast with our friend, Salimeh, and her host son.  So fun!

 

Then, it was time to meet the other families at the airport.  There were 25 host kids in all, and it was madness!  He had fun seeing his buddies, and didn't hang out with Chris and me all that much. 

Then, it was time for the host parents to say their goodbyes.  We called Jia over and talked to him and held him.  We told him how much we LOVED having him stay with us. 

 

He struggled.  Lots of tears from all 3 of us.  This picture pretty much sums it up. 

 



 Saying goodbye was difficult for him, and he actually tried to avoid it.  When the kids left, and the host families couldn't go any farther, we were yelling goodbye and waving, along with the other host parents, but he wouldn't look our way. 

Late last night, I was on Facebook, and saw this photo, that my friend, Christine, posted of her host son (in the red hat).  And there was our baby, in tears.  We had no idea that he was still crying until we saw her picture, because he was facing away from us. 

 

We took comfort in knowing that he would quickly rally, like he did after his sad goodbye with the kids.  We knew he would be so excited to be on the plane with all of his buddies, swapping stories and laughing together.  We missed him (and still do, of course), but we knew he would be okay. 

 

 

I said on Facebook last night, that to make an omelette, you need to crack a few eggs.  We knew that goodbye was going to be painful.  But...it was worth it, for all of us.  We were bent and broken for a little boy who had never experienced the love of a family.  He went back to China after being completely poured into!  He had experiences that he wouldn't have had otherwise.  And he WILL be adopted.  I don't know when and I don't know by who (whom?), but it will happen.  Several of the 25 kids found their forever family while they were here.  Others have things "in the works."  ALL 25 of them had an almost zero percent chance of being adopted, if not for being hosted.  And that is why we host, even though it's hard for everyone.  They need a CHANCE.

 

So many people have called us "amazing".  Although so incredibly sweet, it's just not accurate.  FAR. FROM. ACCURATE.  We are not amazing by any means.  We just love orphan care, and we believe in the hosting program because it works.  Almost anybody can do it, really!  No "amazingness" required.  What you DO need is a bed (we didn't have one- we borrowed one from my parents), the hosting fees (huh- we didn't have those either- we raised them!), and some love to give.  You need a willingness to have your heart broken because you took a risk and loved a child like your own, who is not your own.  That's it, really.  Would you consider joining us next Christmas?!  Have your heart broken- it's for a good cause!!  :-)

 

 

Our hope is to somehow keep in touch with JQ, and definitely to continue advocating for him.  We will keep you posted on new developments, too. 

 

This crazy little guy really made a mark on Richmond, VA, and beyond.  He has captured so many hearts, and has put a face and a personality on "the orphan".  He is just one of SO MANY.  We are incredibly fortunate that for a time, he was ours and we were his.  THANKFUL.





 



 

 

 



 

 

 



Denial: It's more than a river in Egypt.

As today draws to a close, we are left with only 3 more days until JiaQing returns to China. Sure, in some ways it will be nice to be back to our normal level of loud and crazy, rather than the heightened level we've been living in.  The laundry pile will get smaller, the grocery bill will get lower, and we'll be back to a home where all of its occupants speak English. 

Mostly, though, I'm in denial.  I will miss him so much.  I proactively got a sub to cover my preschool class on Friday, knowing that I will spend every moment on the brink of ugly, bubble-snot crying.  I told Chris that I'll probably spend Friday staring at his pictures and watching all of his videos, like a lovesick teenager who just got dumped by her boyfriend.  His reply?  "Yeah, I figured."

Here are some of the random things I'll miss, in no particular order:

- His reaction when the kids get off the bus

- Hearing new English words every day.

- I'll miss his singing.  He's started singing to the Frozen Soundtrack (Let it Go)- My job here is done.  Ha!  He also tries his darndest to sing in church.  Here he is singing the theme song to Jessie. 

- Tucking him in at night.  He lets me give him all the kisses I want, and then I listen at the door for "Gut NIGHT, COLE!"  Well, it's not like I have to strain.  Have I mentioned he's loud?

-Watching him tattle on the other kids.  He acts the entire thing out.  Like...he'll come in and say, "Cole!"  then he'll smack himself on the head, kick the air, punch his own gut, and then say, "REID!"  Translation:  Reid punched Cole in the gut. 

- Watching him slurp his noodles and scratch his back with his chopsticks.

- Seeing him grow and change with a little bit of love.  It's like watching a flower bloom.

- There are certainly days that I'm ready to sell our kids to the gypsies.  I've got to hand it to them, though; they've stepped up to the plate and been remarkable host sibs to JQ.  Cole has given up his room and what little privacy he had.  They all love him to pieces, but, he can be a little high maintenance (I'm chuckling to myself as I type).  The kids have shown him so much love and grace and patience that I am left in awe.  Last night, we coincidentally watched the Little House on the Prairie episode,  "Fagin"
Ohhh wow, did that one hit home.  We talked about it afterwards, and I told the kids that they are a lot like Laura, who found herself having to share Ma and Pa with Albert, who seemed to be getting so much of the attention.  If you're looking for a reason to give hosting a try?  Do it for your kids and watch them rise to the occasion.

 

 

- I will miss his laugh.

 

- I will miss seeing him in my rear view mirror when we're driving, calling, "Mommy!" and putting his hand to his ear.  That means, "turn it up!"

- When he claps his hands, gives the "thumbs up", or says "OK!" because he's happy, there's nothing better.

- I love it when we're out and about, and people inquire about him upon realizing that  he doesn't speak English.  The majority of people that I've talked to have no idea what Orphan Hosting is, and raising awareness brings me so much joy!

- Watching him put his trust in Chris to try new things in the water has been amazing.  He's so cute in his goggles that I can't even stand it.

 

 

-Watching him bow his head and fold his hands to pray puts a lump in my throat.  As soon as they finish brushing teeth, he points to our room and folds his hands like, "Don't forget- we need to pray!"

 

 

- Even though he's been here for a month, he still feels the need to tell us when he needs to go to the bathroom.  He holds his front for number 1, and his back for number 2, until we say, "OK!"  

 

- I'll miss him at the dinner table.  He keeps us laughing!

 

 

 

 

 

I'll tell you right now, that not all of the host families have had the positive experience that we've had.  We've been so fortunate.  Our hosting experience in 2012 was good, but not great.  I think younger has been right for us.  I have NO CLUE what our airport goodbye will be like.  He might clutch on to us and cry.  Or, he might wave goodbye and be on his merry way.  Honestly, I could see it going either way.  He says he's enjoyed us, but he's also excited to get back to China.  I'm glad!  As far as a family here goes...we've hit a few roadblocks, and I honestly don't know what's going to happen.  One very interested potential family did not fall under China's age requirements.  The other serious family is getting some resistance from a couple of their children, and they don't want to move forward unless and until the ENTIRE family is on board (smart move.)  Supposedly, there is a 3rd family in the area that is very interested in meeting him (and they have his file), but I haven't heard anything from them.  So...we are continuing to advocate, not only for JQ, but for some of the other host kids that are still waiting for their forever family to find them.  This world is so broken, and sometimes the sheer number of orphans overwhelms me with sadness.  So, please join us in making a difference, one child at a time.

 

 

 

 

 



 

Once you do, everything changes...

“Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.” – Radical by David Platt.

I have so much on my mind and in my heart tonight, that I'm not even really sure where to begin.  If feelings were fruits, I could blend you the best smoothie you've ever had!  When Jia Qing was just a photo on Project 143's hosting website, I would stare at him and think, "there's no way he can be as awesome as he looks- I'll go ahead and hope for the best but prepare for the worst."  Well, wouldn't you know it...he wasn't as awesome as he looked in his photo.  He was/is AWESOMER (trademark pending.)
Is he perfect?  No. Is he pretty darn close?  I think so.  From the moment we met him at the airport, my heart started drifting towards him.  Chris made it abundantly clear that we were going to HOST.  We were going to ADVOCATE.  We were NOT going to adopt.  "No problem!", I thought.  "We've had 20 kids come and go over the years, and it's clearly what God has called us to do. We'll show him a great time, love the daylights out of him, and then rejoice as he joins his forever family." 

However, as the days and weeks went on, things started getting blurred for me.  If my 47 daily Facebook posts haven't clued you in yet, I kind of like this kid.  He was reeling me in, hook, line and sinker...

 

Each day he blended into our family more and more.  Each day he learned new English words and phrases.  Each day he did something either to make me laugh hysterically, or want to hold him and never let go. 

I was envisioning us adopting him.

Here's the problem:  although Chris adores him, for several reasons (which are valid and personal) his stance on advocating for Jia has not changed.  I was hoping for a miracle.  For writing on the wall, a burning bush, a lighting bolt...anything!  But, the lightning bolt never came.  I mentioned in an earlier post that often times the wife is the gas while the husband is the brakes.  A car needs both to get to its destination safely.  I also mentioned that BOTH parents need to be 100% ALL IN, or moving forward (either with hosting, fostering, or adopting) will be a disaster.

 

Here's the big news:  there are two families that are seriously interested in him, and to be completely honest? I've been a wreck.  Last night I was so angry with Chris for not feeling like I felt.  I mean, how dare he!!  Then, I was reminded of our hosting agreement.  He wasn't the one who changed his tune... I was.  I realized how much I needed to heed my own advice and honor my husband.  He loves me, and he loves Jia, and he loves the Lord, and there is a reason for all of this. 

I've cried my share of tears toady, but it's just because I love Jia, and am mourning what could have been.  They aren't tears for him, as he is going to end up with the family that is just right for him.  I thought maybe that was us (as did a lot of you, I know), but it's not, and that's ok.  I am so GRATEFUL that we get to be his host family, and that we will always be a part of his adoption story, like we are with all of our precious Bethany babies.  I'm giddy with anticipation to see how this all plays out.  It's so exciting and humbling to even play a part in his journey!

***please don't ask me about the two families.  We are way, WAY in the beginning stages, and anything could happen.  It's also not my place to talk about it.

***don't be frustrated with Chris, like I was.  He's an amazing, sensible man, who loves Jia, and I am standing with him on this.  He's the only man in the entire state of Virginia who agreed to host a Chinese orphan through P143, and that's saying something!  His heart is good and his reasons are enough.  Thank you!!!

Hey Jesse!

Happy New Year!

 

Well, we are down to just 13 days left with this crazy kid:

 

His first few days here feel like FOREVER ago.  Maybe because we've been so busy?  Maybe because he's come such a long way?  I don't know.  Either way, I'm suuuuuuper sad that winter break is drawing to a close and in just 2 short days, the kids will be back to school (homework:  kill me), sports and Destination Imagination will be in full swing for Reid and Loren, and Chris and I will return to work.  For those of you who don't know, I work at a preschool 3 mornings a week, and the director was kind enough to agree to let me bring JQ to be my "helper".  Should be interesting!

JQ continues to do great.  We've kept him busy and have made lots of fun memories for him. 
He LOVES Jumpology and as a fun bonus, one of the employees there speaks Mandarin! 

 

He's been to Chuck E Cheese (thanks, Deana!)...

 

 

...and to the Science Museum (thanks, Jennifer and Aaron!)

 

Shark Tank!

 

He's been to the Goochland Drive In for a TRIPLE feature...

Hamburger with a side of tots?  Oh. Yeah.

 

Although we FROZE our buns off at  Busch Gardens Christmas Town, we got to see the show "Gloria", which was A-MAY-ZING, and told the Christmas story.  He was captivated!

 

 

The BG freeze fest was followed by dinner at Outback in Williamsburg:

The Toothless Wonder loves baba!

 

 

He even went bowling on New Years Day (a tradition for about 6 years running!)

 

 

***remember how I mentioned the "Jia Fun Money" envelope and the months of saving?  You are now viewing it in photo format.  When you have an orphan in your home, especially one as cute as Jia who thanks us for EVERYTHING and claps his hands with glee, you want to give the kid the world.  Yes, we are spoiling him and spending way too much money.   Sue me!

 

 

 

He loves to be out and about FOR SURE, but he loves being at home, too, especially when all 6 of us are here together.  If one person is missing, he will ask and ask and ask about them.  When the prodigal returns he claps and hugs and smiles.  It's very sweet!

 

Each morning is the same.  He comes downstairs with the kids around 7:30 to watch TV or color or play or whatever.  This morning I heard him singing "It feels like a party every day.  Hey Jesse!  Hey Jesse!"  OH MY GOSH- SO FUNNY.  He then eats a HUGE breakfast.  I couldn't eat half of what he eats.  Chris made him bacon the other day, and he asked for the translator app to say "delicious!" 
Breakfast is followed by a bubble bath.  He plays in there for about 20 minutes, and always wants me to smell his "stinky toes". 

 

 

 

He spends his days playing with Dory, playing outside with the kids, coloring, and shadowing Cole.  Oh, and eating  Have I mentioned the eating?!  He's a bottomless pit and skinny as a pencil!

 

He has a great sense of humor and is so fun to goof around with. 

Probably the biggest area of growth for him has been in the affection department.  When he first arrived, he didn't want to be touched.  He had absolutely no idea how to give or receive a hug, didn't know how to receive a piggy back ride or be picked up, and would NOT sit on a lap.  Now?  He does all of those, a TON.  This morning he came in the kitchen and gave me a hug and kiss.  I said, "thank you, JiaQing!" and he happily yelled, "Waacome!!"  (his version of "you're welcome").  He was having Cole piggyback him all over the house.  I was watching a video on the computer (of him, of course) and he climbed right up on my lap without a second thought.  When Dory is outside, he asks me to pick him up so he can see her out the window.  Please believe, he did NONE of those things when he arrived.  He either didn't know how, or just plain WOULD NOT.  See what a little bit of love can do?  Have I mentioned how you should really consider hosting?  wink.

 

So, with 13 days left, here's where we're at...

We are still advocating for him.  I call him an "internet sensation", as his photo and bio is everywhere, being shared by everyone and their brother. 

WE STILL DON'T HAVE A FOREVER FAMILY FOR HIM.   Yesterday he told us several times that he wants to go to school in the United States.  He would be fine here, I have no doubt.  He said he does not miss China.

Would you please join me in praying for a family for him?  Preferably, one that comes forward before he goes back?  (He has to go back either way, but it would be awesome if he went back with a family pursuing him.)  Thank you for encouraging us and loving him!!!

 

I'll end with this video, so you can hear his voice.  I love that loud, funny voice! 



 

 



 

 

 





 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten...again.

Tracy's Top Ten Reasons to

Consider Orphan Hosting

 

 

 

 

1. YOU GET TO TRY YOUR HAND AT FUNDRAISING

 

Stop rubbing your eyes and blinking hard.  YES, you are reading that correctly...you GET to fundraise.  Asking for help is never easy.  Asking for MONEY?  Ten times less fun.  BUT...you will be surprised at how your friends and family will WANT to be a part of your orphan hosting journey.  It's not like you're asking for money to get Botox or a year of spray tans;  this is a child's LIFE.  Like I've said many times before, this is a TEAM effort, and many of your team members are going to help you out financially.  PEOPLE WANT TO HELP, and you're just providing them with an opportunity to do so!  Orphan hosting fees are about $3,000.  That does NOT include domestic travel to pick up or return your child to the airport the kids flew into.  This year for us, that was Chicago, which added another $2,000 that we weren't expecting.  IT. WAS. ALL. COVERED.  God will provide!

 

2. IT WILL INCONVENIENCE YOUR OWN KIDS

 

Bringing another child into your home for 4-8 weeks (depending on if you're hosting during winter or summer) is going to rock your entire family's world.  That is a good, GOOD thing.  As humans, we are pretty selfish.  It's just how we're wired.  When you're an adult, you learn to "mask" that selfishness a bit.  Kids?  Not so much; it's just OUT THERE for all to see!  Especially at Christmas time...can I get an "amen?!"  It's so awesome to see your children take their eyeballs off of themselves, and put them on a child who is so very different.  A child who longs for the very things that they take for granted, simply because of where they live and where they were born.  Loving parents, public school, church, a stocked 'fridge, their own belongings, and affection, just to name a few.

 

3. IT'S REALLY COOL TO LEARN ABOUT ANOTHER CULTURE

Most children haven't traveled outside of the U.S. much, if at all.  Through orphan hosting, another country comes to YOU!  :-)  So far we have hosted a child from Ukraine and one from China.  It's so much fun for all of us, but especially the kids, to hear conversations in another language, to see and taste some very different foods, and to try to put themselves in the orphan's shoes.  We look at the globe to see where they are from, hear their national anthem, learn some of their ways, etc.  When I showed them this picture of a Chinese toilet, they were like "Whaaaaaaaa?!"

 

 

4. IN SHOWING YOUR HOST CHILD A GOOD TIME, YOU'LL HAVE A GOOD TIME, TOO!





As soon as we decided we were going to host again, I started tucking extra cash away in an envelope on my dresser, marked "Jia Fun Money."  Being hosted is an incredible vacation, away from the monotony of life in an orphanage.  EVERYTHING is new to them, and they are so excited to experience everything from going out to dinner, to seeing Santa, to shopping for something that is special and just for them, to taking a trip to Jumpology.  All of these things are pricey, especially when you add in your entire family, so just start saving!  You'll be so glad you did.  The special activities are special for EVERYONE!  At the end of your child's stay, put together a little photo album of their time with you, so they can always remember the special things they did with you and your family.  They'll love it!


 

 

 

 

5. A FIRST THAT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU

 

When we did our hosting training in 2012 (which was live, not online), the instructors were actually teaching us how to teach our host kids to give and receive a hug.  No kidding- they told us that they may or may not know what to do, and they would need to be taught.  Turns out, Alyona knew the ropes and was fairly affectionate.  JiaQing?  TOTALLY NEW.  He had no earthly clue how to give or receive a hug, a cuddle, sit on a lap, be picked up and carried, none of it.  Is that heart breaking, or what?  Although I wouldn't say it's his favorite thing in the world, he now will let us hug him.  He's still rather stiff, and we're lucky if he hugs us back, but it's a start.  He'll also let Chris throw him over his shoulder in a playful way, accept goodnight kisses on the forehead, and he hugs the kids- especially Loren.  It's kind of like a "tackle-hug".  :-)



 

 

 

6.  THE AIRPORT MOMENT

 

Oh. My. Gosh.  The airport moment.  When you finally lay eyes on the child whose picture you've studied for hours, there is just no describing it.

 

 

7. YOUR GROCERY BILL WILL SKYROCKET, YOU'LL GET LESS SLEEP, AND THE DIRTY LAUNDRY PILE WILL BE A LOT BIGGER

 

OK, I see that you're rubbing your eyes and blinking hard again.  I add this as a reason to host because in all honesty, sacrificing of your time, resources and energy to serve another, expecting nothing in return, just feels so gosh darn good.  We all should do it every now and again!  Get out of that comfort zone!  *The amount of fresh fruit these kids consume in a day will blow your mind. 

 

8. IT WILL DO WONDERS FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

 

Now, I need to elaborate on this one a bit.  If you are not BOTH on board with hosting, don't do it.  I wanted to host again over Christmas 2013, but Chris needed a break (we were still doing interim care for Bethany Christian Services at the time, so I could see where he was coming from).  Although I was bummed out, I didn't push it.  Why?  Because it's not always easy. It has to be both or neither.

That is true of adoption, too, by the way!  I haven't mentioned this at all, but the first few days that JQ was here, Chris was struggling.  I'm not even sure he could tell you why, as I don't think he could even pin point it.  I know the house volume like quadrupled, and that might have been part of it.  Although it was hard for all of us to see him grumpy and stressed, we were able to work though it, talk through it, and pray through it.  Hosting will bond you- trust me on this!

 

9. HOST BECAUSE THESE KIDS DESERVE A BREAK

 

It's not their fault that they were dealt a crappy hand.  They didn't choose to be abandoned by their birth parents.  They didn't choose to live in an orphanage or a foster home.  They didn't choose to have birth defects.  They didn't choose to be born in Ukraine or China or Latvia.  A lot of times these kiddos have a pretty tough exterior, but they are just hurting little marshmallows on the inside.  They are forced to be independent, to make their own way, to do what it takes to survive.  Coming to America to just be a kid is such an amazing gift for them.  Even if the child doesn't go back with a forever family identified for him or her, they are leaving with amazing memories of fun activities, of being LOVED by a mom and dad and siblings, of relaxing and letting their guard down to just BE.

 

10.  BECAUSE YOU HOST, AN ORPHAN COULD FIND A FOREVER FAMILY

 

Let that sink in.  Because you host, a child's life could change FOREVER.

Not every child that is hosted is adoptable (in which case they will be listed as "host only"), but most of them are.  Many of them have been waiting for years to be chosen- JiaQing has been an orphan his ENTIRE life, and he is still waiting for a forever family.  If he hadn't been chosen for hosting, he would still just be listed on a few "waiting children" adoption sites.  Just a crappy, blurry photo with a couple of sentences about him.  That's it, and clearly, that hasn't worked for him up to this point.  When you host, your job is to advocate for this kid like there's no tomorrow.  You'll tell EVERYONE he or she is here.  You'll post pictures and videos and stories.  You'll tell people to share about him or her.  You'll make yourself available if any adoption minded  couples want to meet or get to know your host child.  I know children who were adopted by their host families, and I know children who were adopted by friends of their host families.  And of course, many children aren't adopted at all.  Please don't let that stop you.  Hosting gives them a CHANCE, where their chances would have been close to zero, otherwise.

 

For more information on orphan hosting, please check out these websites!

New Horizons

Project 143

 

 

 

 

 

 





 



 



 

 





TEN

JiaQing has been with us for 10 crazy, interesting, fun, stressful, awesome days.

Where to begin??  Well, he's doing GREAT.  Seriously, we are amazed at his ability to adapt to COMPLETELY new surroundings.  If you flew me to China to live with some Chinese strangers, there is NO WAY.  I would be so miserable, longing for what was familiar.  He has been so easy going, so happy, and so adaptable!  Although we have certainly offered him many familiar foods, he's also been more than happy to at least try most things.  He is learning our family's routine, our habits, etc., and he seems very comfortable. 

Before tucking the kids in bed, all 5 (now 6) of us pile on our king size bed to pray.  The first couple nights he had no clue what we were doing.  Praying was very foreign to him, and soon after we started, he would just wander out of the room.  Now, he sits on the bed, folds his hands and closes his eyes.  He folds his hands before we pray at meals, too.  SO SWEET!  Although to my knowledge he has never been to a church service EVER, he did so great on Sunday.  He sat quietly with us, coloring and doing math problems.  He tried to sing, and whenever the congregation stood, he stood, too.  He's crazy smart, for sure.  He LOVED the Christmas Eve service.  Here is the video of him singing, in case you missed it on Facebook...

  He knows a lot of the words to O Come O come Emmanuel, Angels We Have Heard on High, and Jingle Bells (he STILL says "Jingo Bongs!")...just from 10 days of hearing those songs on the radio, here and there.  Amazing!  He also kept asking Chris to point out where we were in the program/bulletin.  He's very good at sitting still when he has to be.  When he does NOT have to be?  Oh. My.

The child is loud.  I mean LOUD.  When he gets excited, he is like a hurricane ripping through the house.  Chris loves it!  Not.
Last night when we were celebrating Christmas with my inlaws, he was in rare form, for sure.  He's so flippin' cute though, you just kind of have to laugh at his antics!  He took a real liking to our 15 year old nephew, and pretty much lovingly terrorized him the whole time!  Oh, sweet Nick.  He was a good sport!  Here they are, in a rare moment that JQ wasn't tackling him...

 

It's so wild to think that this was his very first Christmas.  It's no wonder he was beside himself with happiness, joy and pure craziness!  He loved it all.  Decorating and delivering Christmas cookies, gifts, the music, the stockings, the food, the Christmas tree- all of it. 

HE made this such a special Christmas for US!!

 

Our kids with their cousins, Katie and Nick

 

 

Last night after opening gifts and eating dinner at Chris's brother's house, we drove about 15 minutes to Chris's parents' house to sleepover.  He was SO cute.  There were 3 different rooms:  one for Loren, one for the boys, and one for us.  He pointed to our bed and said, "mommy?  baba?"  I said, "yes, this is where mommy and baba will sleep", and he clapped his hands and smiled.  Then, I guess to be extra sure, he went out in the hallway and asked Chris the same thing, using the translating app.  Chris told him where we were sleeping, and he clapped again.  I'm not sure if he was relieved that we weren't leaving him, or what, but it was really sweet.  Then Chris typed, "go give mommy a hug.  it will make her very happy."  So, in he runs to give me the best and biggest hug he has yet to date.  I was fighting back tears!  Hugs were COMPLETELY new to him.  It's like he'd never been hugged, and just had no idea how to receive a hug or what to do.  At first, he would either push us away entirely, or just go stiff as a board.  This was huge.  HUGE.  He also would not be comforted his first couple of days here (found that out when he slipped on our hardwood stairs and got a walnut on the back of his head.  He tried very hard not to cry, and didn't want me touching him.)

 

  On Christmas Eve, he fell eye first into the corner of Cole's bedframe.  He was bleeding, so of course I freaked.  BUT...this time he let me hold him and check out the booboo. 

That was also pretty huge.  (please don't start counting the injuries....

they really just go hand in hand with the 2 teeth he's lost!) 

 

Today when we pulled into the driveway after being gone for over 24 hours, he started clapping and laughing and saying the Mandarin word for "home."  Melt.

 

You know what I like most about him, though?  He is soooo funny.  You can totally joke around with him, and he gets it!  He even makes his own jokes!  Today Loren got her ears pierced as a belated birthday present, and I was saying "JiaQing do it!", as I pressed on his earlobes.  He was DYING laughing, saying "NOOOOOOO!"

 



He also makes hilarious faces, animal noises, etc.  Love him!!

It hasn't all been rainbows and lollipops, but honestly, we can't complain.  Even the very few times we've had to reprimand him, he is very remorseful.  He doesn't want us to be disappointed in him.
We seem to be finding our groove, and we're really enjoying him.  He seems to be enjoying us, too, and his "social butterfly" personality is a good fit for our family.  The kids love him (when he's not annoying them, of course!), and Chris and I love him, too!

Here are a few more random pics...enjoy!

These 4

Decorating Christmas Cookies

 

Reid likes having a little brother around!

Playing with their yo-yos from Aunt Karen and "Chief!"

The Elephant in the Room

Finally...a blog post!  We got home from Chicago with JiaQing around midnight on Tuesday, and Chris finished out the work week.  I haven't had a spare moment to write (other than my 847 Facebook posts, of course.  ha!)

Before I write anything else, I have to say a huge THANK YOU to all of the people who donated towards our hosting fees or flights, to Carolee and Rick for keeping our three kids and taking care of the dog while we were picking up JQ, and to Jon and Tama, for picking us up from and returning us to O'Hare, as well as putting Chris and me up for the night in their home while we were in Chicago.  Orphan hosting is a TEAM effort, for sure!!! 

JQ has been adaptable, funny, sweet, and active.  He loves Nerf gun fights, playing with the dog, drinking OJ, going to visit nana and papa down the street, building with Lincoln Logs, coloring, and following Cole around like a little shadow.

From the moment he said his goodbyes to his friends and chaperones to come with us, he has seemed very comfortable, at ease and unafraid.  What a brave kiddo!!

Communication hasn't been too hard.  Lots of charades and some google translate.  Other than that, we seem to get our points across.  He's even picking up some English- and in only 4 days!  If you see him, ask him to sing Jingle Bells for you- it's his favorite!  :-)

Jet lag and the 12 hour time difference didn't seem to phase him.  He goes to bed around 8pm without so much as a peep, and sleeps until about 8am.  Thank you, LORD!!!  He shares a room with Cole, and I think he finds some comfort with him there.  The peppermint, chewable melatonin probably doesn't hurt, either!  ;-)

The kids adore him, and he definitely adores them.  He has taken quite a shine to Chris, too, and calls him "Baba" or "Bobby".  Very sweet.
So, all in all, we really feel like we hit the jackpot with this little guy!  No car sickness (very common with host kids from China), not afraid of the dog (also common for kids from China), and he's super smart, silly and hilarious. 

As far as the "Elephant in the Room" that my post title eludes to...that elephant is the A word.  Adoption.  I love, love, love posting funny little things he does, or cute pictures to Facebook, and I love how much you're loving them!  There has, however, been a lot of "I just know you'll adopt him", and "He looks perfect with your family!" (that's true.  wink), and "Come on...you just have to keep him!"
Well, here is where we stand as of right now...  Chris has said from the beginning of our hosting conversations that started months ago, that he only wanted to advocate for our host child.  Was/is he petrified that I'll want to adopt?  Yes, pretty much.  I've always had a heart for adoption, but it is a huge, HUGE decision and not one to be taken lightly.  Often times in the world of orphan care, the wife is the gas and the husband is the brakes.  We women tend to be maternal feelers who weep at the thought of a motherless child.  Especially one as young and adorbs as JQ, right?!  But the bottom line is, if this is something that God is calling us to do, He will make it clear to both of us.  Unless and until that happens, we will advocate for him.  Our hope and prayer is that while he is here (he returns to China on 1/15), he WILL be matched to a forever family.  It is probable that that family is not us. 

We have and will continue to do everything in our power to get the word out about JiaQing.  His professional photos were already sent to the "powers that be", and I've been asked to write a little blurb/bio about him that can go with the photos, on the adoption sites that he's shown on.  Of course I have mixed emotions-  I adore him, and selfishly want him all to myself!  But, because I adore him, I want to find a family for him.  Unless God says in no uncertain terms, "It's YOU, dummy!", then advocate we shall.  THAT is our job as his host family; to advocate for him, love him, show him what a family is all about, and give him some amazing memories.  Oh, and introduce him to Chickfila.  Check.