TEN

JiaQing has been with us for 10 crazy, interesting, fun, stressful, awesome days.

Where to begin??  Well, he's doing GREAT.  Seriously, we are amazed at his ability to adapt to COMPLETELY new surroundings.  If you flew me to China to live with some Chinese strangers, there is NO WAY.  I would be so miserable, longing for what was familiar.  He has been so easy going, so happy, and so adaptable!  Although we have certainly offered him many familiar foods, he's also been more than happy to at least try most things.  He is learning our family's routine, our habits, etc., and he seems very comfortable. 

Before tucking the kids in bed, all 5 (now 6) of us pile on our king size bed to pray.  The first couple nights he had no clue what we were doing.  Praying was very foreign to him, and soon after we started, he would just wander out of the room.  Now, he sits on the bed, folds his hands and closes his eyes.  He folds his hands before we pray at meals, too.  SO SWEET!  Although to my knowledge he has never been to a church service EVER, he did so great on Sunday.  He sat quietly with us, coloring and doing math problems.  He tried to sing, and whenever the congregation stood, he stood, too.  He's crazy smart, for sure.  He LOVED the Christmas Eve service.  Here is the video of him singing, in case you missed it on Facebook...

  He knows a lot of the words to O Come O come Emmanuel, Angels We Have Heard on High, and Jingle Bells (he STILL says "Jingo Bongs!")...just from 10 days of hearing those songs on the radio, here and there.  Amazing!  He also kept asking Chris to point out where we were in the program/bulletin.  He's very good at sitting still when he has to be.  When he does NOT have to be?  Oh. My.

The child is loud.  I mean LOUD.  When he gets excited, he is like a hurricane ripping through the house.  Chris loves it!  Not.
Last night when we were celebrating Christmas with my inlaws, he was in rare form, for sure.  He's so flippin' cute though, you just kind of have to laugh at his antics!  He took a real liking to our 15 year old nephew, and pretty much lovingly terrorized him the whole time!  Oh, sweet Nick.  He was a good sport!  Here they are, in a rare moment that JQ wasn't tackling him...

 

It's so wild to think that this was his very first Christmas.  It's no wonder he was beside himself with happiness, joy and pure craziness!  He loved it all.  Decorating and delivering Christmas cookies, gifts, the music, the stockings, the food, the Christmas tree- all of it. 

HE made this such a special Christmas for US!!

 

Our kids with their cousins, Katie and Nick

 

 

Last night after opening gifts and eating dinner at Chris's brother's house, we drove about 15 minutes to Chris's parents' house to sleepover.  He was SO cute.  There were 3 different rooms:  one for Loren, one for the boys, and one for us.  He pointed to our bed and said, "mommy?  baba?"  I said, "yes, this is where mommy and baba will sleep", and he clapped his hands and smiled.  Then, I guess to be extra sure, he went out in the hallway and asked Chris the same thing, using the translating app.  Chris told him where we were sleeping, and he clapped again.  I'm not sure if he was relieved that we weren't leaving him, or what, but it was really sweet.  Then Chris typed, "go give mommy a hug.  it will make her very happy."  So, in he runs to give me the best and biggest hug he has yet to date.  I was fighting back tears!  Hugs were COMPLETELY new to him.  It's like he'd never been hugged, and just had no idea how to receive a hug or what to do.  At first, he would either push us away entirely, or just go stiff as a board.  This was huge.  HUGE.  He also would not be comforted his first couple of days here (found that out when he slipped on our hardwood stairs and got a walnut on the back of his head.  He tried very hard not to cry, and didn't want me touching him.)

 

  On Christmas Eve, he fell eye first into the corner of Cole's bedframe.  He was bleeding, so of course I freaked.  BUT...this time he let me hold him and check out the booboo. 

That was also pretty huge.  (please don't start counting the injuries....

they really just go hand in hand with the 2 teeth he's lost!) 

 

Today when we pulled into the driveway after being gone for over 24 hours, he started clapping and laughing and saying the Mandarin word for "home."  Melt.

 

You know what I like most about him, though?  He is soooo funny.  You can totally joke around with him, and he gets it!  He even makes his own jokes!  Today Loren got her ears pierced as a belated birthday present, and I was saying "JiaQing do it!", as I pressed on his earlobes.  He was DYING laughing, saying "NOOOOOOO!"

 



He also makes hilarious faces, animal noises, etc.  Love him!!

It hasn't all been rainbows and lollipops, but honestly, we can't complain.  Even the very few times we've had to reprimand him, he is very remorseful.  He doesn't want us to be disappointed in him.
We seem to be finding our groove, and we're really enjoying him.  He seems to be enjoying us, too, and his "social butterfly" personality is a good fit for our family.  The kids love him (when he's not annoying them, of course!), and Chris and I love him, too!

Here are a few more random pics...enjoy!

These 4

Decorating Christmas Cookies

 

Reid likes having a little brother around!

Playing with their yo-yos from Aunt Karen and "Chief!"

The Elephant in the Room

Finally...a blog post!  We got home from Chicago with JiaQing around midnight on Tuesday, and Chris finished out the work week.  I haven't had a spare moment to write (other than my 847 Facebook posts, of course.  ha!)

Before I write anything else, I have to say a huge THANK YOU to all of the people who donated towards our hosting fees or flights, to Carolee and Rick for keeping our three kids and taking care of the dog while we were picking up JQ, and to Jon and Tama, for picking us up from and returning us to O'Hare, as well as putting Chris and me up for the night in their home while we were in Chicago.  Orphan hosting is a TEAM effort, for sure!!! 

JQ has been adaptable, funny, sweet, and active.  He loves Nerf gun fights, playing with the dog, drinking OJ, going to visit nana and papa down the street, building with Lincoln Logs, coloring, and following Cole around like a little shadow.

From the moment he said his goodbyes to his friends and chaperones to come with us, he has seemed very comfortable, at ease and unafraid.  What a brave kiddo!!

Communication hasn't been too hard.  Lots of charades and some google translate.  Other than that, we seem to get our points across.  He's even picking up some English- and in only 4 days!  If you see him, ask him to sing Jingle Bells for you- it's his favorite!  :-)

Jet lag and the 12 hour time difference didn't seem to phase him.  He goes to bed around 8pm without so much as a peep, and sleeps until about 8am.  Thank you, LORD!!!  He shares a room with Cole, and I think he finds some comfort with him there.  The peppermint, chewable melatonin probably doesn't hurt, either!  ;-)

The kids adore him, and he definitely adores them.  He has taken quite a shine to Chris, too, and calls him "Baba" or "Bobby".  Very sweet.
So, all in all, we really feel like we hit the jackpot with this little guy!  No car sickness (very common with host kids from China), not afraid of the dog (also common for kids from China), and he's super smart, silly and hilarious. 

As far as the "Elephant in the Room" that my post title eludes to...that elephant is the A word.  Adoption.  I love, love, love posting funny little things he does, or cute pictures to Facebook, and I love how much you're loving them!  There has, however, been a lot of "I just know you'll adopt him", and "He looks perfect with your family!" (that's true.  wink), and "Come on...you just have to keep him!"
Well, here is where we stand as of right now...  Chris has said from the beginning of our hosting conversations that started months ago, that he only wanted to advocate for our host child.  Was/is he petrified that I'll want to adopt?  Yes, pretty much.  I've always had a heart for adoption, but it is a huge, HUGE decision and not one to be taken lightly.  Often times in the world of orphan care, the wife is the gas and the husband is the brakes.  We women tend to be maternal feelers who weep at the thought of a motherless child.  Especially one as young and adorbs as JQ, right?!  But the bottom line is, if this is something that God is calling us to do, He will make it clear to both of us.  Unless and until that happens, we will advocate for him.  Our hope and prayer is that while he is here (he returns to China on 1/15), he WILL be matched to a forever family.  It is probable that that family is not us. 

We have and will continue to do everything in our power to get the word out about JiaQing.  His professional photos were already sent to the "powers that be", and I've been asked to write a little blurb/bio about him that can go with the photos, on the adoption sites that he's shown on.  Of course I have mixed emotions-  I adore him, and selfishly want him all to myself!  But, because I adore him, I want to find a family for him.  Unless God says in no uncertain terms, "It's YOU, dummy!", then advocate we shall.  THAT is our job as his host family; to advocate for him, love him, show him what a family is all about, and give him some amazing memories.  Oh, and introduce him to Chickfila.  Check.

Finding Jia's Forever Family

One thing that I've really appreciated about Project 143, is that they are passionate about finding these host kiddos homes.  FOREVER homes.  I've said many times, while trying to recruit other host families, that even if adopting isn't on your radar, THAT'S OKAY!  Hosting is still so beneficial to an orphan. 

Cut and pasted from P143's website:
"Most orphans have never experienced a functional, family environment and will likely repeat the same cycle unless they are exposed to a new model. It’s impossible to hope for different outcome if you have nothing new to model. Living in a family for even 4 - 8 weeks can be life changing.  A home where the host parents are dependable and present in the lives of the children highlights the proper role of parents. Living with a family demonstrates proper relationships with siblings and extended family members.
Additionally, to orphans, the idea that they are being chosen to visit America is a huge boost to their self-esteem and self-worth since, they are often poorly regarded in their society. Participating in hosting activities and taking trips with the host family makes great memories for orphans who have few to none. Another benefit for international host children is developing better English fluency. Finally, hosting provides a critical opportunity for orphans hoping for permanent adoptive families."

Although I do stand behind what I've said about "just" hosting being enough, my prayer and hope for Jia is that this hosting experience WILL connect him to a family that will adopt him.   Kids that are over the age of 6, are part of a sibling group, or who have special needs have an almost zero percent chance of being adopted.  That's why I am so passionate about hosting.  There are millions upon millions upon MILLIONS of orphans.  The number is so high that we can't wrap our minds around it.  But a child you touch and see?  Talk to?  Share a meal with?  Open gifts with on Christmas morning in your jammies?  They are pretty hard to ignore!  :-)  Hosting is an awesome way for a child who falls into one or more of the above categories to find a family.

So...I'm going to advocate for Jia like it's my job (which it pretty much is as his host mama!)

Here is what I can tell you about Jia so far:
- He's 7 years old

- He's available for adoption

-He has no known siblings

-He has deformities in his fingers (see photos) and one of his toes sticks way out to the side

- He is not allowed to go to public school because of his hands, and he takes classes at the orphanage

-He likes to draw and sing and cook

-CCAI will, if they haven't already, place Jia on their waiting child page for more advocacy

 

This guy.  Don't you just love that smile??



I'm sure he's been made to feel "less than" because of his hands.  Is there a forever family out
there to show him how loved and valuable and precious he is?

No words for this one!

Of course, once he is actually here and we get to know him, I'll have a lot more to share with you!!  I'll probably post so many pictures and videos that you'll consider de-friending me on Facebook.  (don't you dare!)

These are China's requirements for adoptive parents:

- Age 30-55

-married at least 2 years

-Net worth of $80, and 10K per household member

-No criminal history

-No MAJOR medical issues

-BMI under 40

-No current drug use (even recent drug use is a no-no)

-Adopting from China costs about $25,000-$27,000 and requires one trip to China

The entire adoption process will take about one year

 

So, there you have it!  If you or someone you know is down with the above info and would like to spend some time with Jia while he's here, please let me know!  We'll make it happen!  I do personally know of a host child who was adopted by friends of her host family.  It happens!

 

 

If you are the praying type, please start praying for this sweet sugar plum.  Pray that his forever family "hears the call" so to speak, and acts on it.    Pray for his adorable little self as he will soon be taking the trip of a lifetime.  Pray for peace for him, and a spirit of courage and not fear.  Pray that he knows from the moment he sees us at the airport that we're "his people."  We'll protect him and love him and he can trust us.  (please imagine being 7 years old, stepping off a plane, and just going away with some random strangers that look weird and don't understand a word you're saying, and vice versa.  Talk about BRAVE.  It boggles my mind.) 

 

Sorry this is so long, but it's important.  It's his LIFE. 

XO,

Tracy

 

 

 

 

TOGETHER, for Jia!

It's time to resurrect the ol' hosting blog!  As you all know, we are hosting an orphan again this Christmas, but it will be different from our hosting experience in 2012  We are going with a different agency called  Project 143, we are hosting a 7 year old boy (vs. a 15 year old girl) and we are hosting from China vs. Ukraine!  We are really excited, the funds have been raised, the domestic flights have been booked, the training is complete, and now...we wait for December 16th!

I just have to give the biggest shout out to God.  He has done GREAT things through some awesome people.  To start with, as mentioned above, the hosting fees (3K) and the plane tickets (2K) have all been covered.  We are STILL in awe, and are so grateful to the 33 people who financially made this possible. 

But, it doesn't stop there!!!  Like I have mentioned before:  Orphan care has many faces!  We were told by our hosting coordinator that professional photos are CRUCIAL.  Cut and pasted from one of her emails:
"-Get really great photos! I cannot stress this enough, I really, really can't. Photos CHANGE a child's future. A child with amazing photos will be chosen over a child with old, out of date or unflattering photos. I personally always prioritize some hosting time spent on capturing great photos. I'd almost prioritize this over dental work! An interested family isn't going to ask about cavities, but they are going to look at the child's photos."

I put out the need, and boom.  My precious friend Kim, who just happens to be a professional photographer (and adopted herself!) is on it. 

The same pediatric dentist who treated Alyona is going to treat Jia, pro bono. 

My friend Vickie, who is insanely talented and crafty is making him a Christmas stocking to match the ones our kiddos have.  She did the same for Alyona.

Kristen is knitting him a winter hat, because it's what she loves to do.

Our friends Jon and Tama are picking us up from O'Hare, putting us up for the night in their home, and then returning us to the airport the next day.  Then, they'll do it all again when we return him in January.

A generous friend owns a restaurant and said, "Bring that boy in, and dinner's on me!"

Jia speaks Mandarin.  We don't.  Along comes Emma, ready and willing to translate for us.  (phew!)

My point is this: TOGETHER, we are giving Jia hope!!! 

My "camera equipment" is my iPhone. 

I can't clean Jia's teeth or fill his cavities. 

I can't sew or knit. 

We couldn't afford $5,000 for the hosting fees and domestic travel (not to mention a Chicago hotel) 

Cooking the first couple of days he's here?  Not gonna happen.

Our Mandarin is a little rusty (haha), but we'll need to speak to our boy.

What our family DOES have is a willingness to do the paperwork, the training, the traveling, and the loving.  We can't wait to show him, for the FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE what it looks like and feels like to be part of a family.  We are so ready to love on him with reckless abandon, knowing there will be challenges, but ready just the same. 

Do you see how this is a TEAM EFFORT??  A foot doesn't do what an ear does, and an eye doesn't do what an elbow does.  But together??  We make a body that works so perfectly together!  TOGETHER for Jia!!

She's Leaving On a Jet Plane...Don't Know If She'll Be Back Again

Today I was reminded that I am the biggest cry baby on the planet.  (Like I needed reminding??)

I will admit, though, that the tears didn't really have to do with saying goodbye to Alyona.  As we kind of expected, our goodbye was very brief and to the point.  She slept all the way to the airport, and when we arrived, the kids went with a couple of chaperones to check their luggage, while the host parents waited.  That took about 45 minutes.  By the time they rejoined us, it was time to rush off to get them through security.  Alyona and 16 year old Anya yelled "Toilet!" and off they ran.  About 10 minutes passed and we were starting to panic, thinking they had run off or were lost.  They seriously had to get moving, as they were boarding in an hour!!  Well, the girls finally returned, but by that time, the other kids had said their goodbyes and had "crossed the line" beyond where non travelers could go.  She gave us both a quick hug while the chaperones told them to hurry up, and that was it.  

Here is one of the reasons for my waterworks:

The look on Jills' face as she comforts her son  just says it all.  They love Irina.

Precious, sweet Irina.  Oh my goodness.  About 3 days ago, her host mom (and my dear friend, Jill) started sharing that Irina was crying a lot because she didn't want to leave the family that she had grown to love so deeply.  Her 3 host brothers were at the airport, and they all cried for her.  The youngest one especially, absolutely broke my heart.  He cried and cried and cried.  Jill and Darin struggled to put that sweet little girl on that plane.  They love her very much.  I'm not sure what the future holds for her or for her host family, but we are all hoping for wonderful things!

The other younger girl (Natasha) also wept, although I was so focused on the family above that I kind of missed it.  She struggled so much that her host dad had to actually carry her to the car this morning, when it was time to go to the airport.  She was so upset that she wouldn't show her face or have any pictures taken.

Lori with sweet "Natash".  Zoya was a great, Russian speaking help and comfort.

Even the 16 year old (who had a tough time here) had a very tearful goodbye with her host parents.  I was a little bummed out that we didn't get one, but that is just not Alyona's personality.  She is very independent and a somewhat hard nut to crack.  We were told several times during her stay (through translators) that she was having a wonderful time here, loves America, and wants to be hosted by us again.  I wouldn't say that her actions really reflected that, but it does make us happy to know that it's true.  Because of her age, I'm not sure if she will be able to be hosted again.

Our final farewell

I was also very heart broken over 14 year old Alyona.  Her host family (also very dear friends) offered to adopt her. She declined.  She is CHOOSING to be an orphan.  She is saying, "I don't want filet mignon, I'm very happy with Spam, thank you very much."  She just doesn't understand the decision she is making.  She even said that many of her friends who have aged out of the orphanage are now homeless, but she doesn't believe that will happen to her.  She was handed a winning lottery ticket, but didn't accept it.  She just couldn't comprehend the value of it, and it is devastating.

This photo was emailed to me once the kids landed in Boston (to pick up more host children).  One leg closer to Ukraine...

Ask anyone who has been involved, and they will tell you the same thing:  Orphan care, of any type, is really messy.  Sometimes it can seem glamorous from afar, but it is so NOT glamorous.  There can be a lot of pain involved, and life as you know it gets turned upside down.  My precious friends were deeply hurting today.  The kids are going back to their orphanages after a wonderful vacation, and they are still orphans.  One of them, by choice.

The drive home was really nice.  We left our 3 with a sitter, and carpooled with Rebecca (14 year old Alyona's host mom). It was good for her to process what had happened over the last few days, and it was refreshing to just share stories (the sad, weird and hilarious!)
We share a special bond with the other 3 Richmond host families, and we are so grateful.

We got home around 2 and went right to work on Cole's room.  It needed a complete, top to bottom cleaning.  Alyona was not very clean, and we wanted it to be nice for Cole again.  That room alone, mixed in  with getting the playroom back to normal (Cole's been sleeping there for 3 weeks, and Loren slept there while Zoya was with us) , plus washing all of the bedding that Alyona used took 2 full hours.  I was wiped out, both physically and emotionally, for sure.

I was literally thinking "I still need to do the bathrooms and the kitchen and I'm running on empty."  Then, I checked my email.  And there was the following message (cut and pasted):

Hey Tracy! How did it go today saying goodbye? I'm sure that was tough. Hey, I have an idea. You can say no but thought I'd at least offer it. What if you and the kids (and Chris if he's not working) take a day tomorrow to do something fun as a family of 5 again while I come over and clean your house (obviously for free). I'm weird and love cleaning, and after reading your blog, thought that may be something that would take a load off. Let me know what you think. I'm free most of the day tomorrow (just need to work out) and happy to do it. xo, 

I told her I wouldn't mention her name on my blog, so I won't.  (but it starts with a B and rhymes with schmecky)
And that my friends, is when the dam broke...

Remember the verse I quoted a couple of posts ago?
Matthew 6:8
...your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

I felt so unbelievably loved and cared for that I didn't even know what to do except cry and thank her over and over again.  She said, "this is what I can do to help with orphan care."  WOW.  
I've said it before and I'll say it again...We have not done this alone.  Sometimes we get praise for being the ones who hosted, but I don't like it.  We were ONE piece of the puzzle.  I have so many people to thank for helping us during this journey that it overwhelms me.  

So, if you encouraged us with kind words or prayers, thank you.  If you donated clothes or put out the word and got donations from friends, thank you.  If you sent money or a gift card to help with Alyona's many expenses, thank you.  If you read this blog, thank you.  If you are cleaning my house or giving Chris and I a date night Saturday (Heather Jarvis), thank you.  We are blessed beyond measure.

Our Final Days With Alyona

I wanted to share some pictures of our last days with Alyona...

On New Years Eve, we went to a party with no fewer than 150 people, a third of which were teens.  I have to give Alyona some serious props, because she just wondered around and did her thing.  She even joined in with the groups of teens and made herself right at home!  I would have been petrified to do something like that...and she doesn't even speak the language!

She was wearing heels and a mini skirt, and my friend Elizabeth heard a boy say to his friends, "There's a hot girl here and she doesn't speak English!"  Three guesses who he was referring to...ha!!
Here she is, just having a grand ol' time!

We got home from the party around 9, and she wanted to go up to her room to watch her Russian videos.  We made her come downstairs just before midnight to shout "Happy New Year!", and then we sent her off to bed.  Woot!

The next day, thanks to a generous friend, we all went bowling.  Two other families joined us and we had a great time.  She had never bowled before, and quickly got the hang of it...

 The bumpers were up in her lane, but still...she was the only kid to hit 100!

My friend, Heather, brought her niece, so Alyona wouldn't be the only kid over the age of 9.  She rocks!

 I love this man.  Alyona never had a father figure in her life until now. He was and is so loving and 

patient and smart (and handsome!)He was a great example of how a man should treat a wife and a daughter, and hopefully she will always remember what she saw and be picky when it comes time to find a husband.

Bowling buddies.  Happy New Year!

After 2 hours of bowling and then lunch, we took Alyona shopping to buy gifts for her friends back at the orphanage.  I think that was one of her favorite activities of the entire trip, and she is so anxious to distribute the goodies upon her return to Ukraine!

Today we were home getting things done, until 2:30.  Then, we went to the library to see Cole's and Reid's artwork on display, followed by a trip to Sweet Frog.  Oh yeah!

An interpreter friend came over at 5 to help her pack.  It was SOOO much easier having her there.  Thank you, Lena!

She is packed and showered and ready to leave in the morning.  She doesn't seem sad about having to go back, but she has mentioned wanting to be hosted again.  Not sure if she will be too old to be considered (she cannot be adopted once she turns 16 in May), but it's really sweet that she loved it here and wants to return.  Mission accomplished!

We'll be heading to Dulles at 7:30am tomorrow.  Pictures to follow...

Secure All Loose Articles, and Enjoy Your Ride

Isn't it hard to believe that tomorrow morning we will be driving back to Dulles Airport?  WOW.  In some ways, our last trip to Dulles seems like a lifetime ago.  In other ways, time really flew.  We have very mixed emotions about the whole hosting experience.  In some ways, we are disappointed.  Disappointed that a family didn't step forward for any of the Richmond kids (yet, anyways).  Disappointed that as much as I wanted us to be that family, it is not meant to be.  Disappointed in my grossness, but more on that later...

In other ways, we are absolutely thrilled with how it all went down.  This was intended to be a hosting experience, and nothing more.  Don't get me wrong:  finding Alyona a forever family would have been the icing on the cake, but that was not the purpose of her trip.  She was able to experience being part of a family for the very first time.  Her first plane ride, her first trip to America, her first time bowling and ice skating, her first time decorating Christmas cookies and a gingerbread house, her first time at a drive-in theater, her first ballet. She was told that Jesus died on the cross because he loves her so much.  She made new friends, got all beautified for a dance,  tried new foods (a couple, anyways!), had some down time to relax, and opened more Christmas presents than she probably has opened in her lifetime.

Chris and I had the privilege of watching her experience so many new and wonderful things.  We learned a lot about her, but many questions were raised, too.  We watched as God met our physical and emotional needs through amazing friends, family, and even strangers.  Like most exciting things...hosting was like a roller coaster. Sometimes I had my arms in the air yelling, "YIPPEE" as the wind blew through my hair.  Other times, I knew that if we hit one more loop I would surely lose my lunch.

In reference to my "grossness" comment above, this experience has shown me what I knew to be true but was hoping wasn't.  I was not as grace giving and patient as I wanted to be.  In fact, she got on my nerves many, many times.  Today was probably the worst, in that respect.  I realize I'm taking a huge risk sharing this, and you might be thinking, "She's an ORPHAN!!!  How dare you lose your patience with her- get a life, Scoggins!!!!  You stink!"

Well, I've thought that about myself quite a bit, too!  Ugh-yuck!!!!  It is in those moments when I remember that without relying on God at every turn, I'm a huge failure.

1 Timothy 15-16 says this:

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶ But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience, as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

"Immense patience."  Ouch.
Let's look at today:  I started out being pretty tired from going to bed too late the last few nights.  I knew we had to get Alyona packed, and there were a lot of clothes to wash and go through (keep pile vs. "can't fit in the suitcase" pile).  Our kids were fighting, as usual.  The house was a mess, with Alyona's room being an absolute pit.  She was very neat on day one.  We haven't seen that kid since.

I wanted to take down the Christmas tree and decorations, get them put in the attic, and get the house cleaned.  The kids broke no fewer than 4 ornaments.  Alyona was watching her videos, as usual, chomping on gum so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors were wondering, "What is that noise?!"  When I would ask her to do something to help, she would huff and puff and roll her eyes, and then do the bare minimum of what I requested.  We have very different interpretations of "make your bed" and "clean your room", apparently.  I was frustrated that she wasn't lifting a finger to help me, meanwhile, thinking of all the other host families who tell me how much their host kids just loooove cleaning.  I think we got a dud!  I found pistachio shells on the carpet in her bedroom.  (Hmmmm...I'm quite certain I said those were for the plane and not to open them), as well as lollipop sticks and other various trash.  And what's this in the corner behind the sofa?  Oh!  Tangerine peels!  Awesome!

I asked her to go get my earrings that she had borrowed shortly after arriving here.  She said, "later."  Um....I was actually thinking NOW would be good.  They are my favorites and I was anxiously awaiting their return to my dresser, especially knowing that she received SEVERAL pairs of earrings for Christmas.  She returned with one. And it was broken.  OK, deep breaths, woman!  Get a grip- they're just earrings!

We then went to Costco, where she grabbed a shopping cart and promptly ran it straight into the back of my foot. You've felt that, right?  Not pleasant.  Especially with a super sized Costco cart.
We picked up about 90 prints, and I worked so hard to put them all in chronological order.  I handed them to her beaming, so she could put them in her photo albums... and she dropped them on the floor.

None of the above were big deals on their own, but they combined to produce...my perfect storm.

I shared my feelings with Chris, and he reminded me that she doesn't have manners because nobody taught her any.  Husbands, don't do that.  Just listen.  It made me feel worse, like a big loser.

So there you have it!!  This has not been easy and she gets on my nerves, sometimes.  She embarrassed me in public a lot, being loud and weird.  She wouldn't flush her TP no matter how much I begged.  (That does not make your bathroom smell very nice, FYI)
Did we make that "love connection  I was hoping for?  No, we did not.

But you know what's crazy???  I would do it all again!!!  Three weeks out of my life is nothing.  It's a blip.  Three weeks in light of eternity???  Less than a blip!!  A blippette!  BUT, there was eternal VALUE in it!!  Who knows what her time here could mean for the rest of her life!?.  Only God knows that, and he loves her a million times more than we ever could.

This experience forced us to be uncomfortable for someone else.  Cole slept on the couch for 3 weeks...and he survived!  In fact, it was good for him.  Making sacrifices so someone else can have something is a great thing.  We were reminded that the things we take for granted (like family, a home, extra money to do special things) are luxuries that not everyone has.  So what that there were tangerine peels behind the couch (in the room where we told her not to bring food) and my earrings are gone.  So What!!  We loved her and gave her a family, if even for a short time.  It was worth it all.

Children are hosted each Christmas and for 5 weeks over the summer.  I want you to do something crazy...just think about it.  Think about hosting and putting yourself out there for the sake of an orphan.  Your  house might be a mess and heck, you might not even make a love connection...and that's OK!!!  You never know until you try.  And you may never know the impact you've made an another life.  So worth it all.